Existing at Once

Chapter 10 ~ It's Raining Somewhere Else

A relaxing jazz song from a video game they were both very fond of began to play as the sunshower sprinkled across the area while Entia and Leinad were just sitting and enjoying their frappuccinos, reminiscing their days they spent at the cafe from when they were in middle school.

"Don't you miss it Leinad?" began Entia the conversation with a sharp yet excited tone to hear Leinads response.

"What do you mean?"

"Being here, having only eachother to talk to, making memories such as that dumb kid that dropped his sandwhich and we laughed histarically to it, and well. I dunno just enjoying each other's company... Don't you just miss all of it? I ask because nowadays, it just feels different doesn't it?"

"I mean I guess, but I'm just more happy that we're still friends now, I mean, that's what matters most right? That we've been there for one another in moments of need?"

"True, but life gets harder and harder Leinad, as for how we have been there for eachother, it's mainly just being there, but when in need for responses that will make us feel better and more united , those are just things that we should get better at just like when I was there giving you advice to cheer you up for when your mom and dad were mad about you not culminating

Leinad looking away and then in a bothered tone says"Well Entia, that's more of your thing, you've always managed to just say the right things to make me feel better, but as for me to you, I really don't have much to offer other than this shoulder to cry on."

Entia disappointed, "but see, you know I speak more than you when it comes to emotion because I just happen to go through shit at a different pace than you, so do you think perhaps you can just try to at least be a bit more empathetic with my feelings?"

"I'll try, but anyway, remember why we are here Entia, we're celebrating our 4 years of friendship by getting our signature drinks while enjoying this rain to our favorite song, so enough with the serious talk! Cheers!"

Entia was even more disappointed but continued with the persona of being happy knowing that perhaps Leinad may not be the right best friend she thought him to be for her.

At this point, the feeling of there no being validation from Leinad to Entia is what made her think he wasn't just meant to perceive emotion

Also the fact that she had expected Leinad to respond with better responses on that special day of their friendship.

From there on, it was just then the last bittersweet memory that Entia was at least able to have with Leinad due to Entia now processing that the time she had with Leinad meant nothing if it meant not feeling the actual company of someone that you thought were supposed to have in the good and bad of days.

If anything, it made Entia feel even more lonely and thus continued the venture to find the correct people that will make her feel as if she is okay, the validation had to come from her finding it by herself.

But also because of this interaction on the day it was raining, Entia began to indulge into solitude so that way she wouldn't be so reliant on other people for handling her emotions but also to weed out the people that wouldn't be able to just handle them in general.

At moments, when people weren't able to process Entia feelings, whether they be platonic or romantic, Entia wouldn't respond properly to that, hence her doing the whole cutting people off thing so that she doesn't ever feel the same feeling of ironic loneliness she felt with Leinad.

Ironic due to the fact that Entia began to feel uncomfotable being around Leinad because it felt like he was a stranger that didn't even know much of her background despite never having the shut the fuck up about all her previos clsoe relationships and even friendships.

What Entia really would like to just remember mainly is that she had a best friend and that they'll always come and go

The realization of having to eventually cut off Leinad did not bother her, but not having had the will then to have ended the friendship sooner or at least on their friendship anniversary date.

From having gone to meet in a Spanish class in middle school, to the parking lot that made them reach the demise of their friendship is precisely what Entia lived for however, because all Entia ever wanted was just communication between them both.

Little did Entia know that she could live off helping other people be honest with themselves by communicating their feelings with others so that way she can at least drive off her void of empty love for a bit since it genuinely made her happy.

Entia was very well made aware of this soon after the fact that she had received news of Leinad doing better after ending their friendship.

Meaning, despite Entia not having been able to see the fruits of her sacrifice of friendship with Leinad, it then hit her that so long as they're happy with or without her, she was happy for the fact she began to be more selfless than selfish.