Existing at Once

Chapter 12 ~ This Bitch

The disappointment of someone not being the same person you remember them to be is what drives the hatred out of one to make the most irrational of decisions.

Entia had finally come in contact with Prairie now in her third and technically last year of highschool

Also the shittiest of her high school years. Yet also eye opening.

It was already at this time the third appearance but also the last Prairie made into Entia's life, the first resulting in Entia having finally confessed her nearly ten year long love for her... through text.

Keep in mind now that all humans at some point become too afraid at some point to actually have a decent conversation, but that wasn't Entia case, it was Prairie's case of being just too dumbfounded by Entia reappearance into her life that she left her on read for about an hour and right as Prairie was about to text back.

Entia had valued herself too much to even wait for a response that she just blocked on anway that she may be able to contact her.

But remember dear reader, Entia is learning to be more selfless than selfish, so despite the second time around seven months later after the first encounter, Prairie struck her chance to contact Entia and tell her that she really just felt sorry for there being a lack of reciprocation then through the text and offered to at least start their friendship anew.

Again through text this whole conundrum occured and Entia already being nearly over her regret, she had then accpted that perhaps the past may have been different if shr had simply met up wuth Prairie after the orientation, if she hugged her in the midst of everyone when the saw eachother again in middle school, to at least perhaps having been a bit braivier and not having given a fuck and taken Prarie off the ride and having a talk with her in person disregarind also the mean prick of a boyfriend she had then.

Entia had already come to peace with that she had simply had her chance already and that the past can not be replicated but remembered...

"It's not the outside that matters, it's the inside."

Entia carried that alongside her to her last time of being contact with Prairie to finally make her first valid cutting of a person from her life because the truth was that Entia was in love with the girl from back then that gave her motive to value herself more than just looks, but not with the stranger on the other side of the phone that was offering to restart their whole friendship and act as if nothing from the past was special.

It's to mourn the past that makes a cup of poison in which one will eventually drink out of desperation to feel something due to always just feeling dead inside.

But to honor the past while drinking from a fountain of wisdom is what is more fulfilling to keep one alive as time passes.

Hence with profound resolve, Entia had finally decided to relieve the past and it's precious memories she had with Prairie so that she may, again as the infamous anime character of the century says...

"Keep moving forward."