𝓐𝔀𝓪𝓴𝓮𝓷𝓮𝓭

♡.039.♡

I give up

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Her lashes fluttered open, her body felt chained up once again. A small sigh escaped her lips, she was seriously tired of seeing the same surroundings day by day, especially the people that always checked up on her. The surveillance was more tight than usual, if she had to estimate how many people were inside, there were about a million- so it would be impossible for her to escape without being noticed.

I trailed my fingers towards my clothing and raised my shirt noticing the mark was now gone, my mouth fluttered upward remembering the conversation I had with my dad. Looking over to my hands I started tracing the scars I had between my fingers, I would have enjoyed forgetting the reason how I got them but it lingered inside my head once in a while.

It was complete torture knowing that if I disagree- I would get punished, a single mistake caused my whole life, but it wasn't as if I wasn't already used to it. Especially when my step-mom did the same thing, although I wouldn't even call her a mom- she was nothing but a bitch getting in my way.

Her e/c hues stared deeply at the dark cold celling, the grey cement made the air shift into a shivering aura, she looked back at her forearm and trailed the number 15 that was buried deep inside her skin, she let out a small groan once she felt body aching. It seems like it hasn't worn off.

She couldn't feel her legs, they felt numb as if they were nonexistent. But that's just a reaction she has because of what Sora injected, a figure came inside making her glare in that direction. A pair of lavender eyes rested on her form, her hair danced along the bare wind making the younger girl tremble.

"I see you are awake, just in time for the match," Sora mentioned while untying the chains, y/n looked at the woman she once called mom in disguised, it was her fault- it was her fault that her parents died...it was their fault. She could feel her body tingling with one feeling her father mentioned, her mind was asking for many horrible things it felt as if her skull was crushed.

'They killed your parents, why don't you end them?' The faint voice kept repeating the same lines, my fingers tingled with desperation- no I can't...I can't let that voice get the best of me. My breathing got shaky, the cheering felt faint.

It was as if I wasn't in control anymore- no it was me, I just wasn't in the same state of mind as before, a man was in front of me, he flexed his muscles while he took out a couple of small knives. His hair was white with dazzling hazel eyes that flowed with each step he took closer, he started swinging his knife as he was a few inches away from me, I could smell a faint scent of blood lingering. It drove me crazy, it was my fault...right? I turned out this way because of how weak I am, I promised my father I wouldn't let It control me.

My hand tightened around his neck, I could feel his veins popping up and his color draining. My hand...they weren't just choking him, I could see a faint color of blue flowing across his body as I drained his chakra, I finally snapped out of my thoughts and realized what I was doing. I can't stop, my body didn't respond to any of my orders- it scared me, I was scared that maybe I would get trapped inside of myself where I could never escape and watch as I killed my loved ones.

I was wrong, terribly wrong- I can't. I can't do this.

I wanted to cry, my throat felt as if it would croak at any second, my lips tightened I could feel myself trying to hold back my tears, I blinked a few times so I could suck back in the water dripping from my eyes. My nose and cheeks turned into a delicate light pink, my heart felt so tight it might just burst once again. I don't know how much I can take...how much longer I can last.

I grabbed one of his knives and held the sharp edge against the bruised skin, I was gonna do it no matter what. Even if it costs me my life...

I deepened the knife into my skin feeling the aching as my warm blood met with the cold air, a shiver ran down my spine. His form was on the floor gasping for air as I did the same, if I didn't cut myself- then I might have killed him.

I can't use my power, no. Not ever. Because I know one day I will kill somebody and I will never forgive
myself, never if I put somebody else in danger...no matter who they are.

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I felt the cold metal tighten around my arm, I could feel my eyebags darken from all the times I couldn't sleep. But tonight it was different, I failed my father. I can't ever do anything right, one mistake after another- I can never do anything right.

All I have ever wanted was to make both of my parents proud and make a name for myself while supporting Kouki, that's all I wanted. Yet I'm stuck here like a fly in a spiderweb with no way to escape, I felt suffocated as if I couldn't breathe, I was gasping for air- for a way to get out but whatever I tried was a mistake I could never get out of.

I give up, I can't do it anymore.