Worthy Of Love

Fuck.

Olivia

TW: Self-disparagement.

The sunlight peeked through the blinds and I woke up to the alarm blaring. It was 7AM and I had no clue when I slept last night. I put off the alarm and tried to get up before feeling an arm wrapped around my waist.

Fuck.

I thought, I slowly looked at the owner of that arm who was still sleeping like a dead log. Jimin. His cheeks were smushed on the pillow and his lips looked like a beak more than it did when he was awake. His features were beautiful, his eye lashes casted a shadow on his cheeks and disheveled hair standing in every direction, he looked too peaceful. When I slowly started to peel his arm away from me, he whined. His eyebrows knotted and his expression said that he didn't like the disturbance. I found myself smiling at the view, regardless of how hot he was, he was just as adorable. So much so that, right now, I wanted to squish his face so bad. His cheeks just looked so plump that if I bit into them, probably jam would pour out.

And the next moment, I found myself thinking. Thinking, what would it be like to wake up to him everyday. Would I get his cocky side or would I get his adorable whiny man-baby side? And what kind of boyfriend would he make? With his hands as small as mine and sweater paws, would we cuddle whenever we were cold? How would it feel like to see him get dressed? Or how would he look at me, if I got dressed in front of him? What kind of dates would we have...?

And then, he will leave you.

My thoughts came to a halt as my consciousness whispered in my ear. I could not take it so early in the morning and that too with a headache, shaking my head as if I was shaking away my thoughts, I wiggle from Jimin's hold and get out of bed. Move, keep moving, I thought, I didn't want to stop and give my subconscious mind to reel me back into that headspace. As I decided to get up and borrow one of Jimin's t-shirt so I could wear it on my way to home, I casually walked upto his closest which was half as messy as mine, to pull out a t-shirt. I hopped in the shower and turned the shower on, which was quite old, given how it would act up every now and then but got it's job done regardless.

I have been here a few times now, it's been almost over a month since our little arrangement began. It was our dirty little secret but it was satisfying nonetheless. Somedays he would show up at my place and other times, we would hang out at his place. It usually began with watching a movie, though we never get to the end of the movie because we were too busy making out with each other like hungry animals to actually get to the end of a movie or show. We would often go out as well, clubs, restaurants, parks and shopping, mostly the cheap ones, the ones that would be give us a few hours of reprieve from going back to suffocating dorms. But those were mostly followed by a kiss or a blowjob or a quickie in the dark alleys, somedays, all of them. It's almost a surprise how many people we would find doing the same in the darken alleys but again, in moments of passion, it barely mattered sometimes.

I learnt a few things during our time sleeping with each other, one of the major one was that he was in a terrible relationship for almost a year and a half. The woman used to cheat on him with other men all the time after six months being into their relationship, but he forgave her each time. He had always thought that other men were the ones at fault and that his Suyeong could never commit adultery. It made me wanna laugh and I did, but not just in his presence. Love truly turns someone blind, for someone to allow such kind of humiliation on themselves was almost laughable but then, I was no one to preach. Eventually the lies and deceit took over Jimin's relationship, he still turned a blind until he couldn't. What he couldn't forgive was when he found Jungkook on her bed. He was torn between his love for the woman and the love he held for the boy who he cared for like a younger brother. His best friend, his chosen family.