Worthy Of Love

Moth to a Flame

Jungkook:

I dragged my feet and the rubble under my feet made a sound so unnerving that it would make me feel self conscious on any other day, but right now, I had the emotional bandwidth that of a man who doesn't know how to regulate his feelings for his own sake. I didn't think it would hurt this bad when I saw those two together but it did, the moment I saw her walking through the threshold of hyung's apartment, glowing like she never had, something inside me just made a crackling sound. As if someone had stepped on the delicate shards of my feelings without a care in the world and the worst part is, I could have very well left as soon as she came but like a moth to a flame, I walked into my own destruction. My desire to be in a close proximity to her made me want to be there, witness it with my own eyes how it was between them but I couldn't do it for long. I drank and I drank till I passed out, when I finally woke up, I saw those to sitting next to each other. His arm around her as they shared one blanket, he played with her small fingers as she giggled like I have never heard her giggle. Her cheeks were flushed, his face was serene as if he had never seen someone so beautiful. He looked at her with so much love and adoration that it hurt, it hurt knowing that unlike me, he didn't force his feelings on her.

Jimin Hyung wasn't the kind of person to force his feelings on someone, he was the kind to hurt quietly, someone who would say encouraging words to others but wouldn't take them himself. He was love and care embodied in a human. And the worse part was, probably, that's who Olivia needs. Someone who looked at her like he did, unbridled affection.

Tears stained my face as I walked with my head down, dragging myself and trying to figure out as to how I can get over this. Because I loved Jimin Hyung, he was my brother, my best friend. And Olivia, she was my first friend who shared the same interests as me. Someone who would nag me to no end if she wanted to do something, the kind of woman who laughed like there was no tomorrow. Fresh tears spilled down my face unashamed as I stood in front of unit door, my vision blurry and breathing unsteady. I gave up on trying to find my keys and broke down right there, my voice refused to come out but I was screaming. The pain, unimaginable.

I didn't know where the time went, I didn't know when my tears were no longer staining my face, I didn't know when I stopped screaming in silence. All I knew that I was starting at the sky from the lobby, stars were visible tonight, surprisingly. My throat felt lodged and my chest heaved as it tried the weigh the weight of my feelings. I felt lonely, something that I hadn't felt in a long while.

I didn't know how long I sat there but when I stood up, unlocked the door and looked at the watch, it was 9:45. I fished for my phone and saw that it was on silent, I kept my bag down and went straight to bed, at this point my body was in autopilot mode. I threw my body on the screeching mattress and just fell on the bed face down. Exhaustion making it's way up in my eyes as I felt them burn, I pulled myself somehow and discarded my socks, got rid of my t-shirt and pants. I left my boxers on and climbed back to where my pillow was, I turned the AC on and let it cook down my room before pulling the comforter up to my face and drifting back to sleep.

Hoping that I don't dream of her tonight.

{(•••••••••••)}

Su-yeong:

"Fucking hell." He moaned as he pulled on my hair, his dick hitting all the right spots and leaving me wanton. My body was limp after a few mind-blowing orgasms. He pulled me by my elbow and started to pound into me like a mad dog. My moans just getting louder and louder.