Dinah's POV
I was stuck on the past .A past that I imagined with a future with it.A future that was possible in my imagination. I was trying to move on but moving on was hard for me .Everyone has different terms on moving on ,but I didn't know what was wrong with me that I was taking time to move on.I still wasn't over him .I loved him ,I wanted him back but I too wanted him to be happy ,to be out of his life so that I will be happy .
There were times i stalked his girlfriends account just to know about him.I was being the worst being .
I cried time to time when I read the comments both of them shared on social media thinking what was wrong to me.His girlfriend uploaded pictures of them together,I envied .I was being the worst even though i tried to be at my best.
He was all I could think about ,the memories kept flooding in .There were times ,I recalled when he told me of the tan skin I had on how dark I was ,mentioned that I had to choose shoes and clothes thinking of my skin tone;I never bothered about it but after he told I was insecure about it.I felt like he was comparing me with her.There were comments he made of the dark spots scars I had on my legs and parts of my body.There were times he will bring up of her not missing him ,while he laughed off and smirked at me and said,"Shes younger than you and she is fine without meeting me everyday ,while you here is always glued to me".I felt good when he said that before but then I realized how foolish I was.
Mr.Ash blonde hair called me ,texted me time to time but then I blocked him everywhere. I didn't wanna get smitten by him again.I deleted his number for good.I never restored it.
Moving on I always thought ,he would leave his girl behind and come back to me but that was better in drama.In real life I was a sidekick of his,the third wheeler.
It was hard but then I tired this time for good.My friend's never left me.They all told me the same as if in unison,"You deserve better ,He's no good for you ".But then I always questioned did I deserve better after knowingly getting into them.I knew I won't get better nor I deserved better since I was being the most worst person trying to ruin their relationship. There were times in past that I prayed for him to be my best friend even if we were not lovers ,now i prayed I never needed any of that.
I moved on,took little steps.I loved poetry but I gave up on it for a time being since all the poems where about him .I didn't want that .I checked on my diary on looked on the entry I made on the past of him ,I tore every page that was written for him and burned it.I felt bad yet nice that I had nothing of him I could recall of .I returned everything he gave,some I threw it for the best of me.I was being selfish ,selfish for myself.
It was 2 years of hurtful ride with him .I was always on rocks hitting the bottom where he never mattered of me.I fell deep into the pit but I got up making holes ,patching it up myself.
I love ,really loved watching Korean drama.I was into it since my fourth standard.I gave up for him since he didn't like the plots so I started watching it.I watched the whole night ,slept the whole days.Some times I cried cause some plots were so emotional that it reminded me of him .But then I decided to watch dramas that had happy ending .So I did.I was happy .I downloaded all the OST and re-imagined the scenes of the drama with the OST of the drama.I was into.I always love Korean ,like a really lot be it drama and yea the K[pop bands too .I listened to it.I enjoyed a lot.I was being myself again.My cousin Z and my friends were happy of my recovery. I was glad I recovered. When moving on,there were times when he came to meet me up ,but I never did.My cousin Z told him that I didn't plan on meeting him .It hurt me,excited me a little of his efforts but then I didn't go back .I never met him cause I knew I would act a fine .So I didn't. My relation with Korean drama , OST and bands increased .I was smitten by almost all the guy like I was before. I found solace,my shelter ,my home.I knew there's more I needed to work on but I was glad I was doing something. Running away from him was the best feeling ever .I wasn't concerned nor stressed out thinking about them.But I did dreamed of both of them Mr.Ash blonde hair and his gf time to time .I would wake up and cry they hunted me in my dreams too but then I wanted to move on so I did.
8 months without him I felt awesome.There was farewell programs for us that day we roamed around me in my gown ,with Z and his friends beside me.I burned my gown a bit while smoking still had it .We were drunk ,we were having fun.We came back home ,both of us me and Z exhausted .We slept to our hearts content .There was missed calls of Mr.Ash blonde hair and his sis to.I was worried cause there was plenty of it.I called him ,he said he was at hospital. I was shocked. I woke up Z told him.He told me I must go since he is sick.I went to look after him .He was shivering, he was sick.I didn't sleep a wink and stayed beside him that night nursed him while I let his sis go since she was looking after him for the past two nights.Mr.Ash blonde hair and I were huddled together in the congested hospital bed .I wiped off all his bodies since he said he didn't take bath for a week. We didn't talk much but then slept without sex but then I felt his hands moving up on my bosom. I didn't say a thing .The next day ,I left .I was tired too .I went to college and yea had fun forgetting about him .He told me if I was coming back again ,so I told him i won't. Then i said, "you should call your gf to look after you not me buddy".Then I continued moving on.I went to hospital since he came and was concerned of my health so I did the same a tit for tat.
After he recovered he told me he wanted me back ,that he realized how important I was to him .I asked him how did he know about it ,he said he knew about it in hospital and told me that the way I looked after him ,he knew i was the right one.I smirked reading it.I didn't know what he was up to.He talked about him touching my bosom in the hospital. I told him, "Lets not talk about it again.It was a mistake that I did.It wouldn't happen again.As for me looking after you at the hospital that was my duty since I was to keep watch of you whole night .Don't take it the wrong way.So please stop texting me .I am not expecting any replies .I don't need your answers nor do I intend to reply even if you do .But have a great life ahead with your so called gf ".I ended it after it .
I never bothered knowing his reply since I blocked him .I was determined to move on.It was last semester Me and Z studied together hard.We appeared after exam we headed home to watch movies since the exams were over.We graduated .I didn't know what to do .I decided to earn more degree instead of idly sitting.I then changed courses.I did my master degree ,opt for masters in Journalism and Mass Communication. There wasn't any courses in my state so I shifted to a different state. I was 351 km away from home for the first time. I was happy .Everyone was .I was excited since I never left home .So I did and then I made new friend from different state.I was starting fresh with no history to continue
YOU ARE READING
Pit of Love
Novela JuvenilA young cheerful teenage girl experiencing new flaws of her during her college life.She has a crush on someone .Keeps relationship of her a secret .She is all dramatic ,of her life, of the friends and the love she met.
