Half of me was fantasising about the idea of Joe just throwing me, caveman style, on that pool table and having his wicked way with me, while the other half was already realising how hard it could be to get over him if that did happen.
Maybe the mom...
Greg's text had definitely thrown a metaphorical curveball into my brain. Or maybe more of a gutterball as it made me realise that my thoughts of the possibility of a future with Sienna were probably pointless.
I had to remind myself that she herself was still heartbroken just a few days ago; she had even cried about him on our first meeting. How could I expect her to be ready to move on with someone else? With me, of all people? The guy who was once exposed on TV and to all the British tabloids as a three-timing cheater?
And I thought back to the day I told Sienna my sordid tale; she'd reassured me that she didn't believe I was that guy anymore but then within moments joked that I had only two days left with her so wouldn't have time to cheat anyway. I know her words were lighthearted but she'd made it pretty clear she only saw me as a fling.
So that's that really.
I walked over to her after seeing that message, wishing I had those superpowers from my book as I looked into her eyes. What was she thinking? Should I tell her there was a message from her ex on her phone? I decided against it; I didn't want another guy on her mind. Not in that moment.
As I lie in bed next to her in the early hours of the morning, as she sleeps soundly beside me, I reflect on the previous night. For me, at least, it all felt real. But I'm going to have to dust myself off and move on.
Maybe I'm finally ready for a relationship after all; but right now I can't picture that scenario unless it has Sienna Norton in it.
The airport transfer is an early one; pick-up is just after ten am so we don't have much time to chat once we get up. Everything is a bit of a blur: checking that belongings are fully packed, passports are present and correct, what toiletries can be salvaged or chucked, saying goodbye and thanks to the apartment staff. Before we know it, we're on the bus, inevitably hurtling back towards reality.
Sienna is painfully quiet and even I'm struggling for things to say. I'm not sure at this stage what there's left to say.
"Jack asked if I'd swap seats with Kate for the flight so they can sit together," I say eventually. "So you'll have to put up with me a little bit longer." I'm trying to sound light but I feel like there's an edge of resentment creeping in which I can't help. I don't even know why it's there. Do I suddenly feel a bit . . . Used?
Sienna turns to look at me, blue eyes raking my face. "It's hardly been a hardship," she says softly, then her lips curl into a naughty smile. "Well, some things have been hard I suppose."
We both snigger but then silence falls again immediately. She opens her book - my book - and barely speaks again for the rest of the transfer while I think about everything that has happened since I first saw her on the bus a week ago. Never would I have imagined everything that has unfolded between us. I just wish it didn't have to end like this.
We do talk more on the plane though, trying to keep it light. We discuss what we're looking forward to when we get home - she's longing for a long hot bubble bath and I just want to watch some Netflix on my massive TV with a Dominos. I mean, I'd really like to join her in the bath beforehand to be perfectly honest, but I keep that to myself. We've eased from flirty mode down to more of a polite acquaintance small talk level, which is sad but I guess only to be expected.
"Greg messaged me last night." She volunteers as the plane is descending. She's staring straight ahead as she speaks.
"I know," I admit after a brief hesitation. "I saw the message come in."
"He's got a fucking cheek, hasn't he?" she says rhetorically.
"Yeah." I nod emphatically. I don't really feel I can comment much though apart from to back her up. It's not exactly my place.
"Prick," she mutters. That appears to be the end of it. She crosses herself, then holds my arm tightly as we land ("the landing is always the worst part for me" she says), her eyes tightly closed, sitting up ramrod straight in her seat. She slumps in relief as soon as it becomes clear she has survived another flight.
She looks at me and laughs. "We made it."
But we haven't really, I think sadly.
I want to hang on to every little last bit of time I have with her but everything seems to be against me. We disembark quickly, and border control is practically empty when usually the queue snakes around for ages. Luggage for the flight is already starting to circle the carousel when we emerge from showing our passports.
I'm willing myself to say something, anything, just to put myself out there but it seems I'm just too much of a coward.
"There's my case!" She jumps forward and hauls it onto the ground, not even giving me the option to be a gentleman and get it for her. My heart starts to beat faster as she rummages in her carry-on bag and I know this is it - she's leaving.
"Here." She pulls out her purse and opens it, grabbing a handful of euros and thrusting them into my hand. "For everything you paid for. It doesn't even start to cover it but if you need to hunt me down for more, Kate has my number."
I try to protest but she shakes her head. "Please take it." She meets my eyes briefly and I'm pretty sure I can spot tears in them. "Thanks for everything, Joe. You have no idea how much you've done for me."
With that she stretches up on her tiptoes, cups my face and gives me a sweet but way too short kiss. "Bye Joe," she says softly and then she grabs her case and hurries away.
You know when you're in a dream and you're trying to get somewhere and it's like you're running knee-deep through mud? My reactions are like that right now. Everything just went too fast for me in the end. I couldn't speak. I barely kissed her back. I watched her get swallowed up by the crowd.
And I didn't say one single thing I wanted to say because I'm a fucking idiot who couldn't just be honest about his feelings. And I can't even chase after her because my case is still missing in action.
I look down at my fists, clenched by my sides, one clutching the money she handed me. I'm smoothing the Euros out, about to put them in my pocket when I realise it's not all money. She's clearly grabbed the notes without paying too much attention and there's a couple of receipts mixed up in there and a small old photograph.
I squint at the photo, holding it away from me so it comes into focus. I realise it's a picture of Sienna when she was younger, maybe mid to late teens, with an older woman who must be her mum judging by the resemblance. True to her words, Sienna had dark hair then; it was a lot longer and falling in wild waves around her cute freckled face. Her eyes look brown in the photo, just like I thought they were when I first saw her on the transfer bus.
And just like I thought they were back . . .
Holy shit. I feel my face slacken in shock.
How the fuck did I not realise sooner?
My case has finally made an appearance so I grab it and hurry out into arrivals, hoping I might catch her.
But she's gone.
Crap.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
So she's ran off and abandoned him in the airport . . . What now???
And do you have any thoughts on what Joe realised when he saw the photograph?
I hope you are enjoying the story! Please like, comment and share if you do. 💜
