Half of me was fantasising about the idea of Joe just throwing me, caveman style, on that pool table and having his wicked way with me, while the other half was already realising how hard it could be to get over him if that did happen.
Maybe the mom...
Joe looks wrecked by the time he's finished telling his tale. And I have to admit I feel a bit knackered too from listening.
I'd completely forgotten about that terrible reality TV show, about all the publicity J.P. Quinn and his three-timing ways had generated at the time. Half the UK, mostly male, thought he was a hero. The other half, mostly female, thought he was a twat.
"What did you do after the scandal?" I ask Joe. "You pretty much disappeared after that."
"I went travelling," he replies. "I needed to get away, clear my head. Be where people didn't know who I was and what a massive tit I'd made of myself. Luckily it was only really in Britain that I was recognised. I had made a decent amount from my book and other things I'd done - like that show - and in an amazing feat I hadn't twatted it away so I was okay for money. And I started getting a lot of freelance gigs doing travel articles so I was able to stay away for a long time. I didn't go back to London for five or six years and by that time, thankfully, everything had blown over."
"And the relationship thing, the fact you don't do them?" I prompt. "This is because of that?"
He nods. "Pretty much. I know I really hurt those girls. And although I know I'm not that same guy now, it's always played on my mind that maybe, presented with that same scenario, I'd do it again. So it's been easier for me to just not get attached." I can't help but notice his eyes seem sad though.
I can't help reaching out to touch his hand. "For the record, Joe," I say softly, "I definitely don't think you're that guy anymore."
He glances up at me, his forehead wrinkling adorably. "It means a lot that you think that. I thought you'd hate me, especially after what happened with your ex."
I shake my head. "Look, it clearly wasn't your finest hour. But I'm not going to compare something you did 13 years ago when you were practically still a kid to a 37 year old man's actions. And you're clearly still punishing yourself for what you did, whereas Greg probably doesn't even give me a second thought."
"I think you're wrong about that." Joe puts his other hand on top of mine, green eyes searing intensely into me. "He probably regrets losing you every single day. And if he doesn't, he's even more of a fucking idiot than I thought."
My breath catches in my throat at his words. The way he's looking at me right now makes me want to throw myself on him. Despite everything that he's told me. Or maybe because of? Once again, I feel like he's letting me in, possibly in a way he never has with anyone before.
And, forgive me for being crude, but it makes me want to let him in. To me. *wink wink*
Let the holiday buddies become the holiday fuck buddies.
"Thanks." My voice comes out in a rasp. I clear my throat, embarrassed. "That means a lot to me too." I stand up. "Oh and by the way, we only have two more days here so you're not going to have much opportunity to cheat on me anyway." I resort to a joke, feeling awkward. "Will we go get something to eat?"
He's looking at me a bit strangely now but nods after a brief hesitation. "Sure," he murmurs. "Let's go."
By the time we've both hungrily devoured burgers, we're definitely feeling the after effects of the sun, the wine and Joe's confession. "How about we grab another bottle of wine from the shop and head back to my apartment?" I ask. Kate has already text to tell me she'll once again be staying with Jack. "We can watch the sunset from the balcony."
And then... who knows!? I know what I want to happen though!
"Sounds like a plan."
On the balcony I pour our wine into tumblers and break open a big bar of Milka chocolate. In companionable silence, we watch the sky turning various shades of pink and red as the sun dips beyond the horizon, Joe's arm draped around me, pulling me close. I'm suddenly aware of just how happy I am in this moment, with my beautiful surroundings and this incredible guy at my side.
I don't want it to end.
"I like you so much," Joe breathes suddenly, into my ear. Goosebumps erupt onto my skin. I turn to face him and his face is as serious as it was last night, just before that first glorious kiss. I cup his face in my hands and brush his lips with my own before I can stop myself. We haven't kissed since Xi Beach and it's as if I've forgotten how addictive it is.
"I like you so much too," I echo, feeling his stubble prickling against my palms as I lean in for another kiss. Smiling, he tugs me to my feet and leads me back inside, to the bed.
We do nothing but kiss for a long time. It might be hours, it might be minutes, I have no idea. Time has ceased to exist, nothing matters but us. Gradually, eventually, we start to pull at clothes, and his lips move down to my neck. "I want you so badly," he whispers between kisses. "You have no idea, Sienna."
I know how wet I am before he even touches me there, how ready I am for him. "I stole some condoms from Jack's stash," he chuckles as I hear him tear a wrapper open. "Don't tell him."
And then he's inside me fully and we're moving together and oh my god it feels like we fit together perfectly. His eyes widen as he looks into mine, as if in shock, as if he realises this too.
"Fuck," he bites out, lowering his face to mine to kiss me again, one hand slipping back between my legs so he can tease me at the same time. Oooh, so we're going for at least three orgasms for me today then?
I can live with that.
In the end I give in slightly before he does, still contracting around him as he succumbs too, hissing my name into my neck. We lie together, gathering ourselves for a moment before we lock eyes again. I can hear both of our hearts pounding.
"Well," Joe says finally, his voice soft and husky. "I don't know about you, but I'm definitely going to want to do that again."
I agree wholeheartedly.
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