Illicit Affair (Published With Etluxocpub)

7 - Turning Pages

It's been a week since I turnover the company to Noelle. It seems he is surprised with the smooth turnover. No drama, no fuss, just your regular turnover. Noelle proves to be good in what he does. He has great plans with the company. I am sharing the desk with Miss Esther since I gave up the CEO's office with Noelle. Miss Esther has a lot of questions about why I gave up easily, she thought that when Noelle will come back we will announce our relationship, be engaged and turnover will happen after our wedding. That was the plan, and miss Esther knows all the details of my plans, as she was one of the people who know Noelle's choices. It was with Miss Esther that Noelle tells stories of his dream wedding with me, his dream house, his dream family, and places he wants to visit with me.
I'm losing sleep since Noelle arrive, and it is evident in my eye, so Miss Esther asked me to put something in my eye and since I don't know how to put it on my eyes I ask Shirley to dab it in my eyes. Shirley is submitting the financial report and checking on her boyfriend who works with Miss Esther. And that's how Noelle saw us in the washroom. 

"Oh I'm sorry for interrupting you, go on, continue. Don't mind my presence. " Noelle said as he washed his hands and walks out of the washroom. 

Shirley was about to laugh at how I look right now. She knows that I have been waiting for Noelle. We both agreed to remain friends after that wedding announcement fiasco that was forced on her by her father. She even made an erratum announcement a week after when her family business was declared bankrupt. She doesn't want to be engage with me, she only put on a show, so her father would be off her back. She never thought that her interview was video recorded. 

Why do I feel that Noelle is angry? Why do I feel that I did something worst in my life and Noelle wouldn't forgive me? As I go back to Miss Esther's desk, I overheard Noelle's conversation with miss Esther. 

". . Can't they do their business outside the company? Is this naturally occurring incidence in the company?" I know what Noelle meant with his questions, and I can see that Miss E is troubled.

 "Sir Noelle, I don't know, but Miss Shirley is. ."  she was cut by Noelle. 

"I don't need to hear details Miss Esther" and with that Noelle went inside the office.

Miss Esther was beyond disbelief at how Noelle misunderstood my predicament earlier. And Shirley is of no help, here she is flirting with her boyfriend while she can't keep herself from laughing. How things can get more complicated?

Then Noelle called Miss Esther through  the office phone. I can hear his request of arranging a condo unit for someone to stay in, and then I remembered that his boyfriend is arriving next week together with his secretary. 

"Yes Sir, I got it. " Miss E replied. "Condo unit for your boyfriend's secretary near our office, rent a car for a month." Miss E is eyeing me with concern and full of questions. I am wondering if what he told me is true. 

His boyfriend will stay with him in his condo unit. I can't believe this is happening, I never thought something like this would ever happen. With a heavy heart, I continued with the paper works I need to finish for the final part of the turnover. I'm dreading the day that I'll leave this company. The company that I secured for the love of my life. The company that I build again from the ashes it was before so that when my princess comes back this is all ready for him, for us. I did well for him, all the reason I strive hard is because of him, and where did this lead me???

 I can see miss E is worrying about me, but I just sadly smile at her and reassure her that I'll be fine. I'm still weighing my decision, what will be my moves if I will stay in the company as a financial advisor or completely leave everything to Noelle, but I don't want to leave the company, I want to keep an eye on Noelle. As much as I want to be possessive of Noelle, I know I lose that right, right now. 

The week drag slowly, and I feel like I'm dying slowly. Noelle's boyfriend will arrive over the weekend, and I'm overthinking what they are going to do when they meet again. I'm beyond jealous right now. Connor keeps on telling me Noelle plans when his bf arrives as they will have lunch and dinner in their house on Sunday. The jerk even invited me just to spite me. 

"Bro, you have to come home with me on Sunday. Noelle's bf will be there. His secretary might be pretty. " The jerk teased me while we are having some drinks in a bar. I want to drink tonight because I want to sleep. 

I want to forget, even for a while. He is here, very near me but still, I can't have him. It feels like drowning in my misery. The alcohol can't numb the pain I feel, the squeezing pain in my heart is too much to bear. I feel like dying, I want to cry, but I can't. 

I left the bar abruptly, never heeding Connor's shout of precaution. I drive aimlessly until I reach a clearing. I want to drive my car over the clearing just to end my misery. I 'm so drunk, but the pain is still there. I can smell the sea breeze, so I drive toward the beach. I park my car and went to the seaside. I keep on shouting my sentiments, there I confess my love to Noelle, there I told Noelle my promise, there I beg Noelle to take me back again, there I cried my heart out for Noelle to love me again. I laugh and cry, and I sing out of tune Noelle's favorite song, which becomes my favorite song too. I looked at our pictures, I  kissed him. I 'm so pathetic. Maybe this is the time to turn pages in my life. 

After I calm down, I called Connor just to assure him I'm fine. 

"Hey bro, just listen to me, just let me talk for a while. Let me get this out. You know what, I'm so stupid I nearly drive my car over the cliff. Hehehehehehehehe I nearly meet your dad, I know he will kick me back to living life for leaving his princess alone. I can't bear it any more Connor. I see him every day, and I'm so happy looking at him, but he is so angry with me. What did I do wrong? I follow you and your dad's advice, I let him go. I let him grow. I save your company, and I secure his future. I build a house for us, just like how he wanted it and I prepared for his return, you know the proposal surprise I haven't canceled it yet and the diamond ring is here in my pocket, this is just like the way he drew it, but he is not mine anymore. I 'm at loss now Connor, all I have is the memories of me loving him from afar, I don't know how to go on, but I can't see him with another guy. Is this how dying feels, Connor? My heart is being ripped out of my chest and squeezes the life out of it. I don't have much drive to continue to live. I lost the reason for my being Connor. Why did I ever listen to you? We should have been happy together for the last five years, Connor. I shouldn't have listened to the old man Connor, I should have followed him. I gave him everything I have, Connor just like I promised you and your dad. All of mine is Noelle's. Oh, the house in the middle of the farm is in his name. So when I leave he can have it, Connor. Can I leave Connor? Can I disappear? No one will come to find me, Connor. No one loves me. As always, I'm alone. Are you even listening to me, Connor? I'm still drinking, Connor, want to join me here. I got a lot of beer and soju . You know you can track me, Connor. You're not my friend, Connor but you don't know that I have loved him since he was ten. I love him for fucking 15 years now. No one is like my Noelle in my life. I'll love him till my last breath. When is that last I don't know, Connor? I'm losing him, Connor. I'm losing my life, Connor. I realy love Noelle, Connor. Noelle is my life, without him I don't know how I can continue" I end my call and chug down more bottles of soju  and cans of beer. 

I don't even remember how I managed to go home, but when I woke up I was at the farm.

*** drunk call always end up calling someone else