Illicit Affair (Published With Etluxocpub)

5 - Lingering Feelings

After driving aimlessly for sometime, after I cool down I drive towards our house. It is near Connor's farm and a caretaker is assigned to check on the house regularly. As I pass the driveway, I can't help but be sad how things are now. I had great expectation on our reunion but it seems it was only me who waited. Its is clear that Noelle has move on with his life and he is happy as I see it. But what I can't understand is the hatred I saw in his eyes. His anger towards me is so obvious and he barely talk to me or much more likely he ignored me. I'm going crazy with this thoughts in my mind.

I called the caretaker and instructed them to prepare the master bedroom. I want it to be prepared just in case there will be changes in this coming days. I always remember Noelle color preferences, I hope it didnt change though. The master bedroom is painted with the lightest powdery blue and blush pink, just like how his old room look likes. The only thing that's in the room that will remind of my presence is the bedside table on the right. It is the only furniture in the room that is dark chalk blue. On top the table is a frame of our picture taken during Noelle 16th birthday. It was a candid photo where in he smashed his lips on my cheeks.

I sleep in the guest room and as I lay down, I kept thinking of Noelle. Where did everything went wrong? Did I take everything for granted? Maybe I didn't make enough effort to make myself clear with him. How can I make it up with him. I was lost in my thoughts I didnt know when I fell asleep.

It was Sunday the next day so I went to Connor's farm by lunch time. I went there to tease him with his new found love interest. I'm glad that finally the ice man has melted. He has gone so far now in his farming. He is now supplying deboned milk fish in some supermarket in the metro. He might hate corporate world but you can't remove business from his blood.

He was talking to some in the phone when enter I his office. His office also serves as his home in the farm. The place stink of sex but i just kept my mouth shut, I dont want to embarass my friend infront of his girlfriend.

"Who is on the phone, asshole?" I asked him and it strartled him.

"Oh it's Noelle he wants to me later 5pm to discuss something, want to tag along?" Connor teased me. "This might be your chance to talk to him Zander."

I was battling with myself if I am to tag along or not. I don't want to agitate him more. But I'm torn on my wants, I want to see him badly. I want to be in a place near him to even feel his warmth. I'm so pathetic desperate of Noelle's attention. I miss him so much, I miss his touch. I'm still relieving that one magical night I shared with him.

I decided to go with him so I went back to the house to shower and dress up but I end up dressing down. I don't want Noelle to feel that I have dress up for him to notice me. So ofted for a black muscle shirt and a cargo pants paired with loafers. I asked Connor the meeting place and I arrive earlier, wanting to catch a glimpse of unguarded Noelle. There he was just standing inside the mall near the cafe we were supposed to meet. He is a beauty to behold, even in his blouse and jeans attire he is so alluring. I'm glad my car is heavily tinted and he cant see me oggling at him. I became this pathetic and I cant help but sob. I miss my Noelle so so much.

He was busy on his phone and he was smiling sweetly as he read something from it. I want to see that smile often and I want to be the reason of his smile. I watch him for the last 10 minutes before I went inside the cafe and wait for him with Connor.

By 450pm Connor called him and asked him come over. He come in like an angel coming down from heaven. He always catch attention of people around him. I offered him a sit and he thanks me, I'm a sucker of little a attention from him.

Connor introduce his girlfriend to Noelle and he keeps on teasing Connor. I tried starting conversation with him but it is obvious that he kept on avoiding me. I was lost in my thoughts and I was strartled with Neolle's shriek.

"What?" Noelle shrieked

"Oh! What happened?" I aked them nervously. I'm perspiring too much even the cafe is airconditioned without me knowing whats happening.

"YOU! How? What happened Connor." Noelle was hysterical. We tried to calm him down, it seems he don't know what happened so far in their company.

"Yes, I'm the VP and I do preside board meeting every Monday." I confirmed to him. "I was appointed by the CEO even before he died. I think I deserve it as next to your mom I hold a bigger share in the company." I added.

Noelle is fuming and he might pop some blood vessels. He became with teary with his anger and I want to console him. I stand up to hug him but he pushed me away.

"Get away from me, jerk" Noelle loudly told me. I was thrown off with this. I look like a lowlife pathetic person to him. Then he started to sob, Connor hugs him. When he calmed down, Connor spoke to him softly.

"Noelle I think its time for you to talk to Zander. You don't know a lot and I'm not in the position to tell you. You might have misunderstood something in the past but Zander owes you an explanation. Give him chance to explain his side and I do hope you will come to your senses once you heard the whole story." Connor explained to him.

I had a glimpse of hope, a hope that I can hold on to, a moment I can redeem myself. I prayed that this time he will listen to me, I hope this time I can clear it all with him. I badly want him in arms and I would do anything for him to forgive me for whatever wrong that I made. I don't want to see a crying Noelle, it breaks my heart.

"Noelle we will go ahead, let's skip dinner. You and Zander needs to settle your issue between the two of you and as I said earlier Zander is the person you need right now" Connor told Noelle and the left us afterwards. 

"Noelle," I started tentatively, but I flinch as Noelle look at me like he is contemplating murder. He is muttering under his breath and I know he is  cursing me and seething with anger. How in the world I can change his mind about me? How come we are like this now?

"You asshole, if you are able to manipulate my family, keep me out of it," he bitterly told me. " You may have them in your palm but let me tell you once I got the hold of our company the first person I'll eliminate will be you Zander. Mark my words"

I was astounded by the depth of his anger with me. I'm lost for words on how I will approach him. On how I will broach the topic about their company status. I'm the interim VP but all I am is a figure of the company. He is the legit succesor of the company but until he is settled I cant give the company to him and I made that promise to his father. How can I tell him that along with that promise is a vow to keep him safe and secure for life and I intend to keep him by my side.

"I'll see you tommorow at the loby of the company and you will introduce me with the board member as the incoming CEO of the company" He added and walk out of the cafe without even looking back me. 

I'm wondering where did all things go wrong. This is not what I expected to happen when all I did was follow what they want to make sure that Noelle will be safe and secure. If only I can turn back time, I would done what I wanted to do by then maybe things would have been better between us, maybe we are happy now. Maybe if I was just as brave now as before my Noelle wouldn't be looking at me with contemp. I am suffering because of my own doing, I allowed them to manipulate me in the name of salvaging what is left of their failling company in exchange for the promise of having Noelle for myself. I should have secured our relationship first before I let the old geezer manipulate me. 

I called Connor as I leave the cafe, I feel defeated.

"Hello bro, he was so angry with me. I'll be meeting him tomorrow, its time for him to be introduced in the company. I'll show him the operation of the company and if I see he is capable enough then I'll turnover the company fully to him. Maybe its time," I blurted out all what I wanted to say to Connor. I didn't wait for his reply, I just end my call and proceed to the company.