Illicit Affair (Published With Etluxocpub)

9 - Pain in Moving On

I woke up  with the severe headache and terrible hangover. I wonder how I was able to go home in one piece without a scratch. I groaned loudly as I tried to stand up.

Oh, I remember, I called Connor to track me as I was blabbering nonsense to him. This maybe the reason why my headache along with my stomach is grumbling loudly.

"Oh you finally decided to join us the living?" I heard Connor booming voice that made my headache worst.

"Can you speak softly? You don't need to shout" I told him as I sink back on the bed.

"Why did you leave the bar hurriedly as if the devil is after you?" Connor asked me.

I opted not to reply to Connor as I slowly clamber out of bed. I went straight to the bathroom and take a bath. I drag myself to the kitchen and I catch Connor making some food. I flinch with the thought of Connor cooking. I can't tolerate his food; he prefers bland food while I want my food seasoned properly.

"I made you some light meal for your lunch and please no more drinking to oblivion tonight." Connor told me.

"What lunch? What time is it?" I asked him.

"You have been sleeping for more than 10hours now and its one pm already. Will you be alright by yourself?" Connor asked me. "I can't stay over as I have to go home to help mom for lunch tomorrow. My invitation is still open for lunch tomorrow. You can just drop by."

"Pass bro, I'm not a masochist," I said to Connor. "I'll be out of town for most of the next month. I owe myself some rest and recreation."

"What? Are you serious?" Connor ask me, disbelief is evident in his eyes. "You are going to leave Noelle to his so-called boyfriend? Dude we don't know him."

"You will meet him tomorrow. You got to know him more." I told him. "Give chance to the man to prove himself useful in your company and beside Noelle trust him and they are engaged already."

"Are you really giving up on Noelle now?" Connor asked me.

"Noelle still my Noelle, will always be my Noelle but he is happy now with his new found love. I love him so much that I'm willing to give up my happiness just to see him happy." I answered him truthfully. "I'll try my best to move on, but I know it will be hard that's why I'm leaving the metro. I'll send you my location once I'm settled but it doesn't mean you have to go and visit me daily. Have a life bro." I smiled to him. I'm showing to him that I'm ok though I'm breaking apart.

"I tell you bro you have to keep on watch on that guy. I'm not comfortable." Connor said.

"Noelle been with him this last four years and I think he knows the guy better. Noelle is not stupid you know. Give some credit to you brother." I assured Connor.

I'm flippant about Noelle's boyfriend but in reality, my heart is breaking into pieces, so I need to go far from them. I need to hide and lick my wounds. I need to salvage what is left of my sanity. I don't know how to go on anymore. I don't even know when or how to start my life without him. I have been living in fantasy for the fast few years thinking that eventually we will be each other endgame but I dreamed wrong and now I'm in my nightmare. I devoted my life be the best for him but then again maybe my best was just a mediocre for him that he can't acknowledge it. I know I have my share of unpleasant encounter with him but the only reason I avoided him before was that he was so young. I don't want to corrupt him out of his youth. I have to deny him so he will grow. I thought that I have shown how much I love him the way I cherished him in that one moment we have shared. That one moment that is etched deep down in my memory.

I left hurriedly as I need to catch my flight by 8pm. I turned off my phone and remove my sim card. I need to be with myself with no contact from Connor, he will just pester me with all the new about Noelle and his boyfriend. I boarded the plane to go back in my mother's hometown in Mindanao. I plan to look up for a permanent place there to stay. A little farm to build a small Bahay Kubo with few garden patch and some livestock. I think my saving is enough to tide me over as I get on with my life. But before that I'll roam around the place first to check prospective business venture.