May 24, 2019
Dear Diary,
Something they don't tell you when you're recovering from a suicide attempt is how all of your independence is lost. I lost the trust of Mom, which is heartbreaking. Now I can't be home alone at all, even to just get the mail. I mean, the last time I was left home alone, I tried to kill myself.
Anyway, today I felt so guilty. I am the only one to get a second chance at Nationals. So today, while we were about to rehearse solos, Hannah was crying. I agree with her. She should have gotten the chance. I should not have.
I like my solo. The concept is cool and pretty relevant, considering all of the laws regarding abortion all around. My opinion is your body, your choice. If I was raped, I'd want an abortion. So I need to do this justice.
The dance itself is very competitive. If I don't screw up anything, I could win. But I'm an idiot dancer so the chances of that are slim. I have a really hard turn section with a jump in the a la seconde turns, which is really hard.
Between Brady and Paris' solos, I think Brady's solo is the hardest one to beat. Paris' solo is insensitive, she doesn't like the material, and the bathtub is hard to manage in her dance. Brady has an advantage with his blindfold. He has amazing technical jumps and turns and the judges will definitely make him the winner when they see he's visually impaired.
The group dance is still really hard. Hannah nearly twisted her ankle on the dust. It should have been me. If I twist my ankle, I'll be out for the count and the group can finally win. I don't love dance anymore or any less. It's still just meh.
I'm nervous that we've never practiced the full group with the ashes. I don't want to make a mistake because I threw them the wrong way or I slipped. This is a really important and meaningful dance to me.
After the dance, we went to the mall. I got to hang out with Paris for the first time. She's super funny and made me laugh. That's rare since I don't normally feel a lot of happiness. We even got pretzels!
I'm nervous about competing in Pittsburgh. The group won last week without me. If we lose, it's proof that I'm nothing but a screw-up. I hope I can do this team justice. We need to win this group dance.
Love,
sweet p
YOU ARE READING
love, your sweet p
Fanfiction***MATURE WARNING*** Name: Pressley Isabella Hosbach Age: 12 Live: New York City, New York/Florham Park, New Jersey/ Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania Fav color: Blue Fav types of dances: Jazz, lyrical, hip-hop Purpose of the diary: DANCE MOMS!
