In Strange Places

12 - The Pain Cuts Through

It had been a hit and run.

The details clouded in my head as I sat outside the emergency room in a numb state. Someone said Seth had been walking across the street to his office building when a car speeding down the road hit him.

He had suffered severe vertebrae injuries, minimizing the blood flow to his brain and causing him to faint a few minutes after being hit. The doctors had said he needed immediate operation.

"Anything, do anything that will spare his life", I had whispered.

Aunt Rita came as fast as she could. Her face was drawn and riddled with worry when she saw me but she didn't break down. She pulled me into her arms and I clung to her, desperately fighting off my own tears. I wasn't going to cry. I had to be strong. Whatever happened, I had to stay strong.

Dejectedly, I remembered how my morning started that day. I was so wrapped up in my confused feelings for Liam that I barely noticed Seth.

A wave of guilt passed over me when I remembered I hadn't even said good bye to him. He was out of the house before I was even out of bed. I couldn't bring myself to ponder over the notion that I hadn't seen him on what could be his -

No. No. No ugly thoughts. I had to be strong.

The operation took about two hours or more. I stared hard at the doctor when he exited the room, trying my best to read his expression. He exchanged words with one of the nurses, glancing at us one or two times before finally walking over.

"You're the kin, yes?"

We nodded mutely. His expression dropped in sync with my heart.

"Well, I'm really sorry miss but -"

"No, no, no, don't tell me you're sorry!" Rita's voice shook as she stood up, her arms still around me.

His somber gaze met mine, "There was too much internal bleeding -"

"He's alright! Let us go see him!"

"Miss, I know this is especially hard for you -". His voice drowned out as I felt my world caving in.

I was numbly aware of Rita's arms falling away as she collapsed on her seat. I followed suit seconds later.

And once my vision blurred beyond control, my brain shut down and the rest of my memory went black.

————

I don't know who put the funeral arrangements together that evening. Seth's closest friends and a few distant relatives came over. I didn't leave my room however. I figured if I stayed holed in my room long enough, I would wake up from the nightmare and Seth would be home again.

Sitting cross legged on my bed with a picture of Seth in my hands. I was acutely aware of the crying that was happening downstairs. I wasn't going to bear witness to it. I had enough grieving of my own to do. I wanted to lock myself up and never face anyone or anything ever again.

Rita knocked several times on my door but I refused to answer. I was adamant on blocking her out, blocking everyone out. When she came back a few minutes later and resumed the knocking, I sighed,

"Please leave me alone Rita."

A pause, and a new voice responded.

"Julia? Hello Julia? Could you open the door for me, love?"

It was Noel.

I tried to muster up a viable response but all that came out was a croak, "Please go away. I want to be alone."

"You know I won't be doing tha'. Not until you open this door."

I turned away and looked at the grim skies through my window.