In Strange Places

13 - So Cry Baby Cry

October, 1995

It's been two years since I left Manchester. Despite all the promises I made about returning, I hadn't gone back once since leaving.

Strangely, I didn't regret it as much.

Starting a life in my native Boston wasn't as cumbersome as I dreaded. Granted, the first few months were difficult. I suffered from incredible bouts of loneliness and anxiety. I didn't know what to do and I'll admit I was tempted several times to call Rita and tell her I was coming back.

With the help of my uncle Joe, I found a decent job at an educational start-up that offered computer courses to college kids. Joe worked there himself, so he was able to pull some strings.

He generously allowed me to stay with him and his wife Jenna until I found a one bedroom apartment close to my work place. Despite Joe's concern for the lack of security in the building, I was ready to move.

He didn't want me to move out. His own kids, my cousins, were spread out in different states. To have me around was like having one of his kids back again.

Besides that, Rita was content to know I was staying with family and often called to check up on me. I appreciated her concern, and Joe's and Jenna's too, but the whole point of coming back to Boston was to build a life for myself

So a few months later, I convinced them over their protests that I was more than capable of living alone. I promised to visit during the weekends. And as for Joe, I met him at work everyday so there was really no cause for concern.

The moment I fixed the landline of my house, I called Gina. I kept the call short, telling her about my new apartment and asking her if she was well.

Before hanging up, she asked me that one question she's been asking ever since I told her about what happened between Liam and me.

"Do you want me to get his number from Peggy?"

I sighed, "Gina, we've been over this before. It's been two years, you expect me to call him out of nowhere and make small talk ? I can't do that. And you know very well neither can he. He's never been good with words, has he? Besides, it's been far too long. I doubt he'll remember me."

"That's rubbish Lia and you know it", she retorted. "I doubt he ever forgot you and I still think it's worth a try to reach out to him. I mean if I were you, I would want to talk to him at least once.

"Oh really? And how would that conversation go?"

"It would start with an apology, and you know better than anyone else what that means. I know he's no saint. But he deserved to know that you were leaving, Lia."

I pressed my temple between my forefingers and glanced at the clock. I had to cut her short before we fell into this overbearing pattern of conversation again.

"Listen Gina, it was my decision to leave things as they were. I knew nothing would come of it, regardless of saying goodbye or not. And look, I was right too. He's found his fame, he's found new love. He's very happy in his life right now."

"Right, but are you happy in yours Lia?"

"Yeah I am...", I half lied.

"But the other day, you didn't sound to -"

"Oh shush. I drunk dialled you from my uncle's house. Clearly I wasn't thinking straight. You don't have to bring it up - "

"Okay, if that's what you want me to believe..."

Neither of us said anything for a few seconds. I glanced at the clock and sighed again.

"The call's getting long. I've gotta get back to unpacking now. I'll call you again some time, yeah? Say hi to Trevor for me."