Leviticus: Return back home

Ch.6: Relationships rekindled

《LEVI'S POV》

"So, how's my little brother holding up?" Micha said, while patting Levi on his shoulder for a moment.
They were in Levi's room, sitting on his bed next to each other.

During dinner they obviously hadn't gotten to talk much, but after dinner they had finally been able to escape the crowded living room.

"Alright, I guess."
Micha gave him a disapproving frown. "Don't even think about downplaying what you're feeling right now. I know you're not alright."

"Yeah. I miss him a lot. It is so strange to go from seeing him every day to suddenly only being able to glance at each other during lunch break."

Levi grabbed his elephant plushie, Elliot, and hugged him while continuing to talk. "I wake up every night and for a moment I freak out that he's not there, until I realize where I am again."

When Micha took a while to respond, he added: "Sorry if that was too much."
"No, not at all! Levi, you can tell me anything. I'm really sorry that you're in this situation. I wish I could help, but dad doesn't seem to listen to anyone."

Levi grinned sarcastically. "I mean, who is even trying to change his mind? You might be, but mom doesn't seem to be on my side at all. Did you know that she knew about it?"

Micha frowned. "Knew about what?"
"Me being gay and having feelings for Jay. I told her about it and she told me it was fine. How could she now suddenly turn her back on me? It's just so unfair. Just because dad found out?"

Micha didn't answer immediately, he seemed a bit shocked by Levi's words. "Levi, I know it might not seem like it right now, but mom has been trying really hard to convince dad to not be so harsh on you."

Levi shook his head. "You got it wrong. She hasn't even said anything to me about it. If she'd really be fighting for me, I'd know."

Micha got up and started walking around Levi's room. "You don't know, because she didn't tell you."
Levi laughed scornfully. "And why didn't she?"

Micha turned around to look at him. "Because she's ashamed. She feels guilty for letting you go through this. She feels ashamed that she promised you she'd support you and now she can't."

Levi didn't know what to say to that, or how to feel. "Okay, maybe she does support me. But still, if she doesn't show me... I know I shouldn't say I've been all alone, because you and Leah and Naomi and all my friends are here for me. But I need my mom and I just feel like she's kind of abandoned me."

Micha sat down next to Levi again and put his arm around his shoulder. "And you're allowed to feel like that. You're allowed to feel hurt by all of this, because it is so unfair."

Levi looked up at his big brother, thankful for him being so understanding. "Thank you. For helping me."
Micha smiled. "Of course. That's what being an older brother is for. I wish I would've given Dave the same support when he came out."

Levi could tell he felt ashamed and it started to dawn on him how guilty his brother probably felt about what happened with their eldest brother. "Micha, you were only a child. There's only so much you could do."

"I know, but I should've tried to talk to him at least. You and your sisters did."
"You felt betrayed. You didn't know the things you do now. Obviously with what our dad has told us, you'd feel like that."