Ch.30: Don't kiss and tell

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《MATT'S POV》

Matt could've stayed seated for two other stops. From there he could've walked to Alex's house. It would make sense for him to go to Alex. 

Riven was going to have Nick coming over tonight. Levi's house was too close to his home, not far away enough from the disappointed look in his mother's eyes. 

But Alex would have been good. Perfect even. His parents were nice, they wouldn't have minded at all that he came by unannounced on a Saturday evening like this, dried streaks of tears on his cheeks and all.

Matt didn't wait two more stops, however. He got out, like he was being controlled by someone else. 
And he walked, without thinking about where he was going. Although he knew. He knew exactly where he was headed. 

He didn't fully realize what he had done, whose house he had walked to, until he had already rung the doorbell.
Fuck. What was he doing?
He considered running for a moment. 

Before he could do anything embarrassing, the door swung open and he stood face to face with Josh. 
“Oh,” he said, clearly surprised, “Matt. How great to see you again. It's been a while.”

Matt froze. Usually he always knew what to say, but all of a sudden he couldn't speak at all. Instead, he opted to incoherently stammer.
Great. He had still managed to embarrass himself, without having to be caught running down this man's driveway like a pathetic fool. 

“What?” Josh asked. “Are you okay?”
He seemed genuinely concerned. 
Get yourself together, he told himself. 
“Uhm, is Charley home?” 

Josh shook his head, the concerned look still on his face. “Oh, but do come on in.” 
He stepped aside to make way for Matt. 

“He's gone out to help our elderly neighbor do some groceries. But I'm sure he'll be back any moment now.” 
Amazing. The guy he had been ignoring for weeks because he was supposed to be an asshole, had actually been helping the elderly. That made him feel much better about his decision. 

“Let's just wait in the kitchen for him to come back,” Josh said, his eyes friendly as ever. 
Matt hesitated, then took off his coat. He had already gotten inside, so there was no going back now. 

“Paul, look who it is,” Josh said to his husband as they walked into the kitchen. 
Paul looked up, and upon seeing Matt he instantly started smiling. 

“Hey, Matt. It's so nice to see you.” The man greeted him happily. 
God, they were being way too nice to him for them to know that he had ended his sort of friendship with Charley. 

“How are you doing?” Paul followed up his greeting, after Matt had responded with a weak: “Hi.”
That was a question he'd prefer not to answer. Instantly all the sadness he had been trying so desperately to hold down, came back up. 

He looked down and bit his lip, yelling at himself in his head to not cry. Sadly, yelling hasn't exactly proven itself as a great remedy to prevent crying. 

“Are you alright?” Josh put a friendly hand on Matt's shoulder. 
That gesture broke something in Matt and the tears started spilling out. 
“I'm sorry.” He weakly uttered between his muffled sobs. 

He happily welcomed this moment to his long list of embarrassing experiences he'd gone through in his lifetime. 
“Hey, don't worry about it.” Paul said, “Come on, sit down here.” 

He couldn't see through his blurred vision, but thankfully Josh guided him to a chair nearby.
“Honey, will you please get this poor boy some tissues?” He heard Paul ask Josh, before evidently sitting down in front of him. 

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