Leviticus: Return back home

Ch.17: The new us

《NICK'S POV》

Nick knocked on the hotel door that separated him from the boy that had haunted his thoughts nonstop for the past few weeks, if not months. It took a while for Riven to open the door and this only caused the swirling storm in Nick's stomach to get bigger.

He honestly felt like running away, which was weird because he still loved spending time with Riven, even after all that had happened between them.

But Riven had asked him over to his room. Alone. Nobody else would be there. Something about that made him feel so nervous he was starting to become nauseous. He told himself to just breathe.

Suddenly the door swung open and there he was. Riven's gray eyes instantly locked onto his, his smile was wide and honest.
"Hey." He simply said and stepped back to give Nick space to enter the room, without waiting for him to respond.

"Hi." Nick answered, while stepping into the room. He felt the need to say something, crack a joke to lighten the mood, but he couldn't think of anything.

"Oh, sit down wherever you want." Riven told him, unaware of Nick's discomfort.
Nick hesitated and Riven sat down first, on the floor at the foot of his bed. Nick quickly sat down next to him.

"I hope you didn't have any other plans that I disrupted by inviting you over." Riven started the conversation.
Nick shook his head. He actually didn't have anything planned, but even if he did he'd gladly drop it for this boy.

"Do you want something to drink? I got booooze."
Nick stared at the boy in disbelief, as he held up a bottle he'd clearly already drank from.

"Where did you get that?" Riven wasn't a drinker, so this was very out of character for him.
He just shrugged. "My roommate. He gave me some. I thought I'd just... drink a bit before you came over."

Oh my god. He was nervous too. Nick hadn't noticed yet, since the alcohol had probably calmed his nerves, making him appear more calm, but Riven definitely felt nervous about this conversation too. Nick didn't know how that was supposed to make him feel.

"Alright." He reached over and took the bottle, after which he put it behind him, without taking a sip.
"What are you doing?" Riven asked. His cheeks were a bit pink. "Aren't you gonna drink that?"

Nick shook his head. "No. First we'll talk."
Riven frowned, but after some consideration he nodded. "Fine then. I know what you're like when you're drunk, there probably wouldn't be any talking possible anyway."

Nick smiled. Riven still knew him well. That made him happy.
Riven sighed. "This is harder when there aren't cards telling you what to say."

"Riv, you can talk to me about anything. You know that." Nick reassured him.
"Yes." Riven agreed. "Yes, I do know. I just wanted to clarify... everything."
Nick turned so he would be facing Riven. "Okay..."

"I pushed you away. I was unfair and cold and even though I never meant to, I hurt you."
His words hung between them in the air for a bit.
Nick was the first to start speaking again. "It's alright. I understand why you did it."

"But that doesn't make it fair. You mean everything to me Nick, and I made you feel like you don't. I know you'd never say that to me directly, but I can see it."

Nick bit his bottom lip, the pain calming his beating heart.
Riven took a deep breath before continuing. "I was scared, I think. I needed time and I should've told you that. But instead of being open and honest with you, I shut you out. I made you feel like you did something wrong, but I was wrong."

He reached over and placed his hand on Nick's. The swirling storm in Nick's stomach sped up again.
"I'm sorry."

Nick smiled, desperately trying to ignore his feelings. "It's okay. Really. I understand why everything is so weird now. But honestly, yes. It did hurt."
"I understand that." Riven said. "And I'm truly sorry."