Girl from Mitras ★ A. Arlert

Chapter 29 - Don't let me fall

As expected, three days later they left for Trost to prepare for their departure on a mission to return of Shiganshina. All three days before departure, Y/N and Eren continued training as long as they had the opportunity - Eren insisted on this more than Y/N. She believed that they had achieved excellent results, which she regularly reported to Hange. Eren didn't feel like it was enough. He was afraid that when the time came, he wouldn't be able to do what he had to do.

Regarding the analysis of the spinal fluid that Y/N borrowed from Eren, she thought she had learned everything she wanted to. She still had some left of the sample she took, she decided to leave it for later. «Suddenly, it could be useful in the future, who knows what will happen next» All her things that she didn't intend to take to Trost, and there were many such things: research equipment, kits with poisons and chemicals, various tools, books and other things she relayed to Historia, who promised to ship it all to Y/N's apartment in the Capital, where she planned to go soon.

Armin and Y/N stopped avoiding each other like they did after the incident with Eren. Nevertheless, a certain secrecy on the part of Armin still remained, to which Y/N preferred not to pay attention, rather than think and make it difficult for herself to live with these thoughts. Her head was already filled with thoughts about work, about research, about their future mission, about her ability to resist the titans. She, of course, thought about him, it was usually before going to bed, when she closed her eyes and he stood before her eyes. Added to her thoughts was Levi's weird request, which was still in her head. Everything he said about the Ackermann's «superiority» intrigued Y/N. She considered her options for what she would do first after returning from their mission, but, as usual, her expectations were far from the reality that awaited her.

They arrived at Trost, where Hange was waiting for them. While they were unloading their belongings, they explained what they and Commander Erwin had been doing all this time: they, together with a team of experienced scouts, developed a plan of action in Shiganshina, which implied several scenarios, including the appearance of a Colossal, Armored and Beast titans. Also, training was actively carried out for recruits who decided to join the Survey corps after everything that had happened in recent weeks. The way Commander Erwin pulled off his plan to uncover the true motives of the government inspired many people. Many soldiers from the Garrison and the Military Police have realized that Commander Erwin isn't just a man who is willing to risk everything to achieve his goal, but also a man who weighs his every decision before risking everything. They understood why the scouts always support their commander, following him without question, devoting their lives without question to the fight for the freedom of mankind. And they decided to follow him too.

After their arrival, they were expected to prepare for the mission within two days. On the evening before departure, something like a party was planned for all those going on a mission beyond the walls. Y/N was impatient to see Erwin again - during these weeks they missed the commander, with whom her connection after what happened in the Capital became very strong. What they achieved inspired her. She believed in him. She believed that he would find a way to bring humanity into a world without fear, where she could be truly happy, as her father wanted. She was afraid of losing him, but she knew that such an option was possible, because they were all scouts. Although she understood all the risks, she didn't realize how the implementation of this option could affect her.

Unlike Y/N, Levi understood how things could end. He had enough of time to study the girl and the nature of her relationship with the commander. For some reason unknown to him, almost five years ago he made the choice to let her into his life, and it wasn't in his nature to refuse his decisions. He often regretted involving himself into it, but though he found it hard to admit it, her company often brightened up his loneliness. She was to him a mini version of Hange and Erwin, only without all the burden of pain and experience that these two have. That's why he wanted to help her. He knew that if Erwin died, she would break. He understood this, because when Erwin brought her to them for the first time, she was already broken. And she was never able to return to the rut, although she pretended that everything was fine. She didn't cope with the death of her father, but simply put it all on the back burner. And losing one more person would just break her heart. He didn't want this for her. And he was angered by the fact that Erwin didn't understand this. It pissed him off that Erwin kept brainwashing Y/N like she was just one of his subordinates. He delivered his standard rousing speeches, talking about the important role of everyone, not realizing that she saw in this not only the words of the commander, but also the words of her guardian, her family. Y/N idealized him, as many scouts did, but, unlike others, when Erwin dies, they'll simply lose the commander, who will be replaced by someone else, and who replaced Y/N her guardian, who will become her new family? Levi understood this, as he had lost loved ones more than once, but, unlike Y/N, he wasn't an emotionally unstable teenager. He understood that she would lose her family. Again. And it could end badly.