My Diary WARNING contains angry and sad themes

Cant say no

My parents are getting on my last nerves they are always gone and never home it's getting annoying. I love my sister but I have to take care of her 24/7 and when I complain they get mad it's like she's my child and i'm responsible for her. They refuse to put he into a day care which is such a fun opportunity for her to go on felid trips and stuff. No they rely on me. It's honestly so much stress and I don't have money so how and I supposed to take her to places I don't freaking understand. They take everything anytime I can go out and have fun I get freaking tons of messages to come home right now or their will be consequences. I let them. I cant say no. I cant stand up to myself because I get called ungrateful and they take everything away. And when I want to hang out with them they say they are tired and want to sleep. I just cant keep living like this anymore. They put so much stress and im only 16. They are here but no present in my life. My mom works at home and ignores us and we can't even be free to roam around the house. My dad I rarely see him and he is so tired all the time. It hurts though when my mom dosnt pay attention to her kids. My relationship with her is so weird because she cares about my mental health but she does nothing to change it. I always have outbursts when she finally pays attention and talks to me. I bottle it up because all my entire life i've been called dramatic and it hurts so much. I've asked for therapy so many times and they keep saying ok but I haven't gotten it yet ITS BEEN MONTHS. They freaking smother me they don't want me to leave they refuse to pay my collage if I leave Utah. They break promises all the time and try to control me. I feel so trapped like I can't do anything. Im going insane. Im becoming depressed and I don't have any right to anything I say. They guilt trip me and then I think i'm the worst daughter and then I remember they do a lot for me and that I am being dramatic. I cant feel anything... AT ALL. They are not emotionally there for me. They are only there to help pay for stuff. Now I feel like I shouldn't be complaining and others have it worse. At least I have parents some don't and some are neglected. My dad has problems he has never been emotionally vulnerable with me. I cant talk about my feeling ever and I just don't even know how to talk to my own dad.  Then they complain why im always on my phone and with friends because  just trying to escape. I know it's bad that I can't wait to leave when I turn 18. I can't trust people they always stab me in the back.