Cut Off

Chapter 25

I have officially been a mother for 3 months. It has been an insane few months. I think I've slept a total of 2 hours. Zach has been helping, but he can't hear them cry in the middle of the night, and I don't like to wake him. I know we are supposed to switch off, but I always feel guilty. My mom helped for the first 2 weeks, but she had to go back to work.

I got to put my prosthetic back on 2 weeks after I got home from the hospital. That has been helpful with the nights. Plus, they aren't horrible at night. At least not anymore. It's usually only once a night that they wake up, but once one starts crying, the other does too. And then, once they are fed and asleep again, I'm still awake.

I did find something last week that has been helping. I found a baby monitor that has a flashing light and vibrates whenever it detects noise in the nursery. Zach sleeps lightly, so he usually wakes to that and won't let me get up with them.

Just as I'm thinking about everything being a mother entails, I hear one of the girls start crying. I think it's Hadley. Their cries are similar, but I can usually tell.

I go into the nursery and pick up Hadley. It's 6:45 AM, so she's right on schedule. Isla is still asleep, so I leave her while I start a bottle for Hadley.

When I get to the kitchen, Zach is already in there getting ready for work. He got a summer internship at a law firm. It's not exactly what we planned for this summer, but we need the money. I told him I would get a job too, but he won't let me until the twins are at least 6 months old. He's going in early today so that he can get off early for the wedding. Emily stuck to her plan, and they are getting married exactly a year after they got engaged, which happens to be today. The wedding is at 6 o'clock tonight.

I give Zach a quick kiss, and then I sit down to feed Hadley. Just as she finishes, I hear Isla moving around in the other room. I walk over to Zach.

"CAN YOU GO GET ISLA?"

"YEAH."

He goes to the nursery and comes back with Isla in his arms. I switch him babies so I can feed Isla and he can change Hadley's diaper. We have a nice little system, I have to say. Then my phone rings, and both girls start crying. Crap.

I answer the phone with Isla in one arm. I check the caller ID and see it's my mom.

"Hey Mom," I say while trying to soothe Isla.

"Hi baby. How are you?" she asks.

"Good. Why are you calling at 7:00AM?"

"I just got home from the hospital. Thought I would check in on you."

"Well, I'm good."

"Good. Well, I'm going to go to sleep now. I'll see you in a few hours. Jennifer asked me if we wanted to come for the wedding. Of course I said yes."

"Ok, well then, I'll see you tonight. Bye, Mom."

"Bye."

As soon as I hang up, I see a text that just came in.

Emily: Can I come over?

Me: Of course. Why?

Emily: I'll see you soon.

Then she is offline. I wonder what's happening that she couldn't tell me over text.

Zach comes over to me and hands me Hadley.

"I HAVE TO GO. I LOVE YOU."

"I LOVE YOU TOO."

And then he's gone and I'm alone. Well, not alone. I have my daughters. I'll always have them. I lay them down on the mat on the floor and then I sit next to them.