𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐀, shawn mendes

chapter twenty

shawn mendes
los angeles, california
———

        today was scott and i's writing session with taylor swift, and i couldn't be more excited. she had texted me a few weeks ago saying that she was in town and wanted to write with me, and it was so fucking cool.

touring with her started my career, so doing a song with her would only be the best way to celebrate everything i've gone through.

"hello?" i heard a voice say and turned around to find her peeking her head in the door. "can i come in? you're not recording anything?" she whispered and i smiled and nodded.

i stood up as she walked in and engulfed her in a hug, "hi! how are you?"

"really good, i'm glad i made some time to come write with you," she chuckled and sat down on a couch.

we sat and chatted about everything but work for a few minutes before we decided we should actually start.

"so, i know you said you wanted to write with me...but i have a song that i think would honestly be better as a duet, and i'd love it if you could be the other voice on the track," i asked nervously.

"oh for sure! do you have it?" she replied and i nodded, scott pulling up the demo to 'why' on the laptop. he clicked play and it poured out the speakers.

"your verse would go after i sing the first chorus...and then we could sing one together and end off in like a broken-up recital of the first verse," i explained and she agreed.

"it's a great song...if you don't mind me asking, who's it about?" she mumbled and my face grew glum. "i-uh just a girl from back home...i just reconnected with her," i lied.

"oh," she said, but i knew she wasn't convinced one bit. i had told scott what had happened earlier, but i felt like that was enough for right now.

———

"when i hear you sing, it gets hard to breathe, can't help but think every song's about me," taylor smiled into the microphone as scott and i recorded her verse, "and every day that you're not by my side, a little part of me's empty inside, no, don't want to ask about it 'cause you might brush it off, i'm afraid you'll think it means nothing at all, i don't know why i won't admit that you're all that i want..."

taylor ran through the chorus and then i stepped into the opposite booth, recording it once through together. we reached the final outro that she had written. "i know a boy, he's like a curse, he wants me too but no one will break first," she sang, me finishing it off, "so many nights trying to find someone new, they don't mean nothing compared to you."

i smiled at her giddily and thanked her like 20 times for agreeing to record it. we listened to it all played back and then started on the song we were gonna write as a solo for myself.

i opened my notebook and turned through the pages for the phrases i had written the day after halley's party.

instead of finding that page, i found the beginning of a song.

maybe i had too many drinks
but that's just what i needed
i hope that you don't think that what i'm saying sounds conceited
when i look across the room, and you're staring right back at me
like somebody told a joke and we're the only ones laughin'

"i might have some sort of a start here," i flattened the page down and handed the notebook to taylor.

"mmm...so you drunkenly confessed your love to the hometown girl?" she decoded the lyrics, "i could work with that."

"i just want her to know that even if i did a stupid thing, i'll be waiting for her," i mumbled out awkwardly, "she's really the only one for me."

i smiled at my last few words and thought about halley. sure, she's one of the most beautiful women around...but she's also the best person i've ever met. we clicked instantly and have so much fun when we're around each other. i just genuinely enjoy spending time with her, hearing her laugh, watching her dance, and talking to her.

taylor started scribbling down some ideas and after a few hours, we had the song.

"so, i think the chorus should kinda be like separated? it'll go, 'baby, tell me when you're ready, i'm waitin', baby, anytime you're ready, i'm waitin', and then a chord and breath, and then go into 'even ten years from now, if you haven't found somebody, i promise i'll be around, tell me when you're ready, i'm waitin'..." she suggested and i completely agreed.

"yeah, for sure, and then i like the part about being three hours back and six years ahead," i added.

taylor smirked at my words and i knew she figured out it wasn't about some hometown girl.

i could honestly call this album 'halley' if i really wanted to—i can't seem to write a single song that's not about her.

— notes!
ok so 2 things:
1) i did in fact write my
own few lyrics for 'why' to
make it fit with halley—since
she's not a singer like camila lol

2) i love taylor so much so
i of course needed to bring her
into this and give us the duet
her and shawn i need!! (ik we
have lover remix but still i
need an original duet lol)