Love, Poetry, & Coffee

~ 51 ~

I don't know if will makes sense if I say this out loud, but I think a flashback hasn't shown up in my mind. Usually, I think if there's some kind of core memory about Sarah, I'll immediately have a flashback playing in my mind. Now, there ain't even a single second of flashback from the past. Perhaps this has something to do with the closure I needed earlier at the supermarket with Sarah. If that's not the case, then I don't know. As long as I'm feeling relaxed and calm, I think I'll be fine. Talk about character development.

After the dreadful walk back to her apartment, I watch her digs a hand in her tailored-pocket to snatch the key. "I never anticipated to have someone come to my apartment today, so please don't mind the mess."

It's kind of funny how people say that, but their loft is spotless. I bet Constance isn't the type of person who would deliberately leave mess all around her apartment. "You say that, but there won't be any mess that's visible in your apartment."

She snorts a laugh a bit as she twists her key, making a clicking sound from the doorknob. "Look, I just say that in case there was a tornado in my apartment without me knowing."

I suddenly remember the times when I was a child having his tantrum and I have this urge to share that memory with her. Actually, I have the urge to share every happy memory I that I have, just to see her smile at how stupid I was being a kid. "Speaking of a tornado in a room, my mom used to tell me that when I was a child, I'll throw this chaotic tantrum where I just mess with everything I see in my room."

She gazes at me while a chuckle escapes her lips, "And then what happened?"

"Well, my mom will check up on me and ask me if I'm done so that we'll clean up the mess I just made." An itch from the back of my head urges me to scratch it, so I did just that. "I was a stupid child," I wince, immediately regretting sharing her that.

"Ain't everyone who was a child once acted stupid?" She raises an eyebrow momentarily as she pushes her door open. "Well, here we are." She reaches a hand in the darkened room, perhaps trying to flick the light switch. Once the familiar flicking sound enters my ears, the light begins to flicker open. "Feel free to feel at home." She enters her threshold while I follow suit.

Oh yeah, I definitely need to feel comfortable as possible since I know the things we will be talking about. I don't even know if there's a way to be comfortable while talking about her inevitable faith. Perhaps it's not inevitable, but one could only hope. I found a couch and decided to sit down as I glance around, taking in the image of her apartment. "You have a lovely place here. Why did you move here?"

Another chuckle escapes her lips, making me think that I should have counted every moment she laughs. Numbers seem to matter, knowing there will be an ending. "Thanks," She mutters right after her chuckling dies down. "I honestly just picked this apartment room randomly. There was a lot of available apartment room that the landlord let me picked and this is the one I've picked." She glances around the apartment as if she wants to see it in my eyes. "Do you want something to drink?"

I raise a hand, signaling that there's no need for me to drink. Part of me will just forget that the drink even existed in my hand once the depressing part of this conversation fades in. "Wait, does your father know you leave here?" Actually, I have no idea if I've already asked that question or not. I can't seem to focus because of this creeping anxiety inside my chest.

"He knows, but he was freaking out about me living alone." She grabs a pitcher of water from the fridge. The pitcher had perfectly placed on the counter as she looks around for a glass. "I did a lot of convincing just for him to agree I can live alone," Once she founds the glasses, she poured the water in the glasses. Her voice seems to have lowered to a whisper as she mutters, "This is the closest thing I can get from feeling like a normal person." She places the pitcher back inside the refrigerator and begins to walk towards me with two glasses of water in hand. She places the other glass on the coffee table right in front of the couch while trying to hand me the other one.