Love that Lasts Forever

rest

A/N: words: 2447. plot goes weeeeeeee. yeah plot is not working. but thats okay. because guess what. im writing another fanfiction :). a coffee shop au, actually. so yeah, have fun with that. anyway, enjoy!

It took almost a month before they actually found a feasible threat. It made Sam's skin scrawl. He couldn't pinpoint what it was, exactly, but there was something wrong. It was the moment before the storm, the moment before disaster struck, before the fire ignited and took out the forest.

There was a buzz around the compound, Monica's eye becoming more tired every time Sam saw her.

"So are yours." Bucky told him when Sam commented on that very thing. Sam sighed.

"I know that." Sam acknowledged. He had Bucky's heartbeat echoing in his ears, he had the rest of the world screaming at him in the static noise of the outside world. It wasn't so much fear, the gripped his heart in a tight fist. It wasn't anger that turned his soul to ice. It wasn't guilt that made his bones freeze in their place. It wasn't anything else he had felt before. It was ominous, lurking in his mind. Waiting to strike. When Riley fell, it was all so sudden, no fear that crept in the back of his mind, that dwelled into inexplicable tears. The sun hung in the sky, and before Sam knew it, a fire hung in the air alongside it. Along with the loss of Sam's first real, true love.

"Then rest." Bucky advised, snapping Sam from his thoughts. Sam sighed.

"Can't. After whatever's happening is done with, then, I'll rest."

"No, you won't." Bucky murmured, propping himself up a bit more. "As long as I've known you, you've never been able to rest. Rest now."

"You know whatever's happening is the first real thing we've gotten our hands on in years. Resting seems premature."

"Not if you have a reason for peace." Bucky justified, his fingers dancing up Sam's spine.

"What if I have a reason for war?" Sam retorted. Bucky froze.

"Does peace not outweigh the blood?"

"Not until the blood dries." Sam told him. "Maybe not even then." Bucky nodded.

And maybe Sam was right. Maybe peace is never truly viable. Maybe a future is only a future when it's dripping in blood. War is always leaving a trail of blood, no matter how many angels float above, the devil always lies beneath. When stars fall, when the sky turns black as the roses at a funeral.

"That doesn't mean you can't find peace is war. A wise man once told me that he could find peace with a rush." Bucky grinned, causing a smile to creep up Sam's lips. "So, darling, find peace with me, even in the middle of a bloodbath."

"You're so dramatic." Sam mumbled, his tone amused. Bucky scoffed.

"Take a break." Bucky urged. He felt Sam snuggle up closer to his chest, the shape of a smile pressed to Bucky's chest.

~~~~~~~

Turns out, taking a break is easier said than done. This threat, whatever it is, knows what its doing. Meaning later nights and apologetic looks from Bucky that Sam didn't need. And that lurking, ominous feeling that grew in Sam's gut wasn't backing down.

How can one find peace if fear, or maybe something more, is still weaving its way into your mind? Fear has greeted Sam for years, how it found a home in his rib cage, filled the cracks of his soul, started the very first flame in his heart. Fear has draped over his shoulders for years, greeted him at every drop in the air, screaming at him in the silence. Fear is fresh, and fear is bloody, and fear is only known to you. Fear used to be something that only clung to Sam's skin, clawed its way into his skin, but lately Bucky has been the one to find it, to drown it out, to offer Sam some peace neither of them have known for a very long time. And Sam, against his better judgment, accepts it. But now, fear is creeping up behind Sam, taunting him, telling him someone will take a wrong turn, someone will pay the price. Sam just prays it isn't him. Prays peace will come eventually, even if the fear doesn't stop.