Love that Lasts Forever

too late

A/N: words: 1990. HEYYYYYY. new fic, new regular updates, look at me. THIS!!! FIC!!!! GETS!!!!!! BETTER!!!!! i promise. ALSO, I SEE Y'ALL IN THE COMMENTS. much love, honestly, i feel like that one picture of tom holland where he's like smug and knows too much. YALL KNOW THAT ONE? it was in the infinity war interview with pom, rdj, zoe zaldana and benedict. YOU KNOW??? jesus christ- ANYWAY, enjoy!

Bucky woke up to a buzzing noise. It was Sam's phone, he knew that, but he couldn't figure out where Sam. The door opened quietly, revealing Sam, illuminated by the moon and porch light. Bucky had a lot of questions.

"Morning." Bucky said sarcastically, tossing Sam his phone. Sam gave Bucky a look and answered the call. Torres. Bucky fiddled with his hoodie as he listened to Torres give a detailed explanation of a last-minute mission. Bucky was still confused. Confused as to why Sam was outside at 3 am. Confused as to why Sam looked so tense. Sam ended the call with a sigh. "D'you need me to come with you?" Bucky questioned, but Sam shook his head.

"No, it's fine." Sam answered sharply, and Bucky's brow furrowed together. He watched as Sam made his way down the hall, and up the stairs. He didn't know what happened. He didn't know why Sam was outside at 3 in the morning. He knew better than to ask.

~~~~~~~

"Sam are you sure-"

"I'm fine, Buck, go back to sleep." Sam needed some space to breathe. He needed to some time to think, think about Bucky and why he did what he did. And he wouldn't get that by taking him to IKEA. For some cruel reason, Sam was still in love. He hadn't fallen out of it. And now they were here. They were back. But there was more than that. The fact of what they used to be hung in the air, and he doesn't think either of them are about to do much about it.

"If you're sure." Bucky muttered, and Sam had to resist an eyeroll. He left without another word.

~~~~~~~

"Hey Joaquin." Sam greeted as he boarded the jet, shield in hand. Joaquin nodded at him, his brow furrowing at Sam's unusually dismissive attitude.

"Hey, everything alright? You seem tense." Joaquin asked carefully, unsure of how to approach this. Sam smiled at him gratefully.

"Thanks, man, but everythings fine." Technically, everything was fine. Technically, he was just on a late night mission. Technically, everythings fine.

~~~~~~

Bucky couldn't sleep. He tried to do anything to make himself busy. He went back on Sam's computer to take a look at more furniture, even ordered some tables he and Sam had decided on before Rhodey got there. Bucky couldn't stop thinking about what happened. Why was Sam outside? Why Sam so adamant about Bucky not coming with him. Bucky kept scrolling on the IKEA website, not really registering what he was seeing.

Bucky didn't know if Sam wanted him gone. If Sam really, truly, didn't want him around. Maybe he changed his mind. Maybe he realized that the damage Bucky did was too much.

After a few hours, Bucky had ordered 3 tables, some pillows, and a dinning set. He was still antsy, and the sun had risen a few hours ago. He got a text from Sarah, something about someone giving away some couches. He decided to wait for Sam to come back to decide on it. He was still bored out of his mind. The TV was supposed to be coming today, so all he could do was wait around for that. Well, there was something else he could do.

Sam,

I know I already said I was sorry, I know I've apologized a thousand times to only this pen and paper, but oh my god Sam, I am so sorry. I should've trusted you. I do trust you. You're the only person in this messed up world I actually trust. I promise, I still love you. I'll never stop. I never have. If you can trust anything I say, trust this: out of everything on the crooked, cruel, stupid planet, the one thing I can say is that I love you. I've loved you the moment I saw you. It feels like a century ago, but I remember the feeling like it was yesterday. I remember every time you smile, every time you laughed, every time I knew I loved you. Life has been messy, but you're the one thing I know will make it a bit clearer.