Ghosting Madness

Chapter 29

29: It All Makes Sense Now
“In the end, I am a fool
to believe everything 
just happens for a reason."

Kinaladkad ako ni Pamela. Sa ospital. Sa harap ng maraming tao. I know for long that she is unpredictable and warfreak most of the times, but I am not expecting that she’ll be so random and reckless right now to pull me at the end of my hair and drag me towards Dean’s room. 

“Pamela, nasasaktan ako.” 

I groaned in pain, the corners of my eyes building up tears, as I try pulling away from her grip. But it’s only making the pain worse. Wala akong magawa kung hindi ang hayaan siya sa gusto niya. 

“Nag-eenjoy pa ako, eh,” matigas niyang sabi sabay tingin nang masama sa mga umuusisa. 

Hapon na at ang ilan sa kanila ay pauwi na rin pagkatapos ng visiting hours. Walang nurse na nagra-rounds kaya wala ring may gustong umawat.

“Ano ba’ng kasalanan ko sa’yo?” mangiyak-ngiyak kong tanong. “Aksidente ang nangyari, Pamela. Maniwala ka sa’kin. Hindi ko ginusto ang nangyari kaya don’t let your anger overwhelm you, not in this place, please.”

“PUWEDE BA?! Huwag ka ngang magpanggap na parang ‘di kita nakitang kalmado kanina? Na parang walang masamang nangyari?” sigaw niya. “Talagang may care ka lang sa mga gunggong, ano?” 

“A-Aray—Ano ba’ng sinasabi mo? Sunod ko dapat na bibisitahin si Dean. Pero nagpakita ka na.” Nakita kita. Nanghihina kong sabi, “Natakot ako.” 

She scoffed like she doesn’t care, and perhaps because she heard I was afraid of her. Then she pulled me again without a word. I let out a yelp for the sudden pain. Meanwhile from afar, I could hear Madness calling my name, calling Pamela a bitch after telling her to stop pulling me like a mop. She, on the other hand, raised her middle finger.

The hallway in this floor is already a mess…because of me. I could only turn my head back, and tell him to stop moving and remain there before covering my face with my hair in shame. 

Until we finally arrived in front of a door, the last room on the hall. She opened it then pushed me inside like I was nothing but trash. I almost fall on my knees for the pain in my head and for the countless of times I tripped when she dragged me earlier.

I stood up and fixed myself before the body lying in front of me. The air was filled with the beeping noise from the machine that monitors his vitals, and from the whispering air from the ventilator attached to a tube inserted in his mouth. An IV fluid is connected to his left hand while his head and right arm have bandages around them. 

Then, I let my eyes travel to his face. Looking at him sleeping innocently can fool someone that he’s just resting and not at the brink of death.  

“Wala ka man lang bang ibang sasabihin?” agresibong tanong niya nang makita akong natuod sa kinatatayuan ako. “Hindi ka ba naaawa? Isn’t it him who needs you more than that hot-headed asshole?”

“Pamela, please. Don’t put the blame on others but me. I’m really sorry for being insensitive to your brother. It wasn’t my intention, I promise.” 

Of course, I am sad and in regret for what happened. Sa tingin ba niya nakakatulog pa ako nang mahimbing ngayong ganito ang sitwasyon at nalaman kong magkapatid sila? 

I know she will SURELY make me feel guilty about this.

And I’m right.

“Makes sense now?” tanong niya. 

And it has. The one Nella called when she’s sick was Dean. Pamela holds firmly on his arm during the coronation night because they’re siblings. Kahit ako ‘di rin makapaniwala sa binunyag ni Nella sa’kin noong nakaraang linggo. Magkaapelyido sila. Hindi nga lang magkamukha. They are strikingly dissimilar from each other.