You again

18

Chapter 18

Sabrina Claudio's Wanna Know played in my head when Khaya opened the door and we both gazed into each other's eyes. I loved him, I don't want to lie, I think I spent the better part of my pregnancy wishing Harry would actually turn out to be Khaya's child. I think that's the other thing that drove me insane, admitting that I didn't think anything through. The humiliation that he must have felt when he saw the photo of Andrew and I on my Instagram before I told him that I was doing everything for Luna. I regret it mani, all of it was just shitty but I love where I am today. It was all worth it.
" Hey"
I said and he smiled, I was wearing a plain white dress with mist Yeezy foam runners. My braids were up in a bun.
Khaya" Thank you for coming"
" It's not what you think"
Me" You don't know what I am thinking"

If this was a movie, I am sure they would play Song for you by Avery Wilson and montage of our moments together would be the build up.
" I met someone"
He said and I didn't see that one coming.
Me" I am happy for you"
Khaya" I am scared she will do what you did to me"
" So I can't let her in because I am scared she will disappoint me like you did"
Me" That's unfair, I had my reasons"
Khaya" You left me after you agreed to marry me. You humiliated me Zola, there's nothing in this world that would make me understand your reasoning"
" You took something from me and I want it back, so I thought maybe if I see you one last time then I will be okay again"
Me" Ufuna ndithini?"
" You want me to be miserable?"
Khaya" I don't benefit from that"
" I.... Mxm.... Fuck this!"
Me" I am sorry"
Khaya" Why did you do it? Honestly"
" Because it can't just be about Luna"
Me" But it is, there was nothing else. I loved you. If I could tell you how miserable I was afterwards, I thought I was just doing what was right"
Khaya" You married another man! While you wore my ring! Right for who??? You uploaded a photo of you two outside of Home Affairs before you told me!!! I don't understand how you can stand there and say you loved me yet you could do that to me without hesitation"
Me" I called you!!! I called you, I sat on that stoep until midnight waiting for you! I tried to stop your uncles from going to George!"
Khaya" Zola! You honestly want me to accept that shit?! You didn't say anything that night. I found you outside drunk, you had lost your keys so you claimed. We went inside and we had sex, then you told me you were marrying Andrew and you left"
" And I didn't know you had already married him until my sister called me telling that she saw on your fucken Instagram that you were married"
Me" I apologized!"
Khaya" For what?"
" What was the apology for!"
Me" I am sorry for everything"
Khaya" What's everything Zoey!?!"
Me" What do you want?"
" I can't tell you anything more than what you already know"
Khaya" Does he know?"
Me" He knows"
" Ufuna ndithini Khaya?"
He is referring to me calling him crying about being pregnant with Harry and how much I regret everything.
Khaya" I don't know"
" Andiyazi how to forgive you for everything and loving her without fearing that she will do to me what you did! So I am stuck"
Me" I want you to be happy, you deserve it and Sima told me she is amazing. I want that for you, because I have zero regrets about everything because I love my husband. I love the life I have with Andrew and our children. You deserve that love too"
" You asked me what am I sorry for, I am sorry for ruining your life and I am sorry that you don't trust yourself to love again because of what I did to you. I want you to be happy, and I did love you Khaya. Losing you will always haunt me but we both deserve to move forward with our lives"
Khaya" Thank you"
" Stay, don't go, let's just talk"

#

If Khaya's girlfriend didn't call him at 21:30 pm, I wouldn't have known that was the time or that my phone was actually off. I ran out of that hotel room, well after him and I agreed we are cool. We were at One and Only so his hotel was at least 20 minutes from my place, 15 minutes if I drive like I am auditioning for fast and the furious. I wasn't that lucky, instead 25 minutes later I arrived at my house and I went through the front door instead of using the garage entrance. I could hear the tv playing, I walked to the kitchen instead of the tv room then grabbed myself a bottle of water.
"Where have you been?"
My husband everybody, I could lie but I have no reason to lie but as I told him everything I felt like I should have lied because his face said a lot and I regretted opening my big mouth.
Andrew" So you were just chatting with your ex fiancé for 7 uninterrupted hours with your phone off and you just expect me to believe that nothing happened"
Me" Yes because nothing happened"
Andrew" Not once did you think you should call to let me know your whereabouts? I could be in a meeting and I still find time to let you know my whereabouts"
" I am sorry but I think you are lying"
Me" I didn't have sex with Khaya!"
Andrew" Do you know that I called your father, your friends and your therapist to check if you didn't maybe have an appointment since everyone else didn't know your whereabouts"
" I feel like a fucken idiot!"
Me" I owed him that much!"
Andrew" And what do you owe me? Didn't you owe me a call?"
" Are you kidding me? You still love him don't you"
Me" I don't love him"
Andrew" I think you forget that us getting married was your decision and I thought we were in a better place"
Me" We are!"
" I had to close that chapter Drew"
Andrew" You didn't tell me about it and that's what pisses me off because you and I spoke last night and this morning! So don't act stupid"
Me" I sat at that restaurant and watched Cassandra shamelessly flirt with you. And I didn't say anything"
Andrew" You had plenty to say!"
" Cassie was fiancé just like he was your, but I don't have meetings with her about what could have been"
Me" My Lord! I didn't fuck him! Do you want me to take off my underwear so you can smell my pussy! Is that what you want? To hear me say that he bend me over and fucked me for old time sake? Or laugh at how you made me a get a dna test while I was pregnant with Harry?"
Andrew" Fuck you!"
Me" Fuck you too Andrew"