A Still Day or A Hurricane | Jungkook

Part 34

Park Jimin doesn't intimidate you. Even with his sass and brilliant mind, and even knowing of his occasional judgey attitude, he doesn't affect you. He doesn't make you anxious, but right now, you can't bring yourself to look him in the eye.

You promptly receive the case files you asked him to collate last week, and while you usually go through them first to see if he missed anything, today, you merely say your thanks, nervous eyes focused on the report you're reviewing.

You feel his gaze on you, and if you were brave enough, you'd see that it's marked with desperation, and not the frustration you were expecting.

"Feels like deja vu, huh?" He says, as he stands by your desk, hands in his pockets, hoping you'd look at him.

"___, I thought everything was okay. You and Jungkook seemed like you were finally heading somewhere. He said he saw you leaving the store upset and you haven't replied nor picked up his calls."

You try to keep your resolve, going over the words on the paper but not knowing what they mean.

It's hard to talk about it. Last weekend when you had your mom, and then Byeol, over at your place, all you did was cry. You saw Yun-seo with his family, that's all you divulged. Even holding Heejin was hard because of what he said, that you only had her to prove a point, because at your core is a selfish woman who always has to do everything on her own.

By Wednesday, you couldn't hold it in anymore. Perhaps you just needed time to absorb what happened, let yourself feel things and see what you can resolve on your own. That's how you always did things, even after the breakup all those years ago. But not this time. Yun-seo knew how to hurt you, and he did it without remorse, bringing your daughter - your whole world - into the picture, and that's what cut you deep.

"Heejin is the sweetest, most joyful child because of how you love her, you know that, right?" Your mother reminded you then, her own heart breaking at the sight of her daughter doubting herself.

"And that love is everything but selfish. It's sincere and kind and beautiful, honey. Because that's what you are," she added. "He only said those because he can't say the same thing about himself. He's a coward and he's weak and people like that shouldn't bring you down. Only you know what you went through so don't let him take anything from you - not your strength, not your self-respect, and definitely not your love for your angel."

That night, your mother and your best friend refuted every single thing that Yun-seo said. Of course, with the occasional "he's a cheater and no one should ever trust the words of one" by Byeol.

You knew they were right; you had days to process everything and you just needed them on the days you feel unlovable and remind you what love that heals feels like.

"___, you know I don't like meddling but—"

"Yun-seo was cheating on me," you interject Jimin. "With his neighbor who's now his wife. And they have two kids."

You finally look Jimin in the eyes and see something you rarely do - anger.

It's immediate as he processes the words. You were working closely together when you were with Yun-seo, and Jimin knew how much love and effort you put into your relationship, and to know what really happened all those years ago makes him feel betrayed for you.

Jimin's face softens, the desire to drown you in his embrace and comfort you getting stronger.

"I'm so, so sorry, ___. You didn't deserve that," he says.

"I know. It's been years but it's like forcing open a wound that has long healed. And that still hurts."

For you to have kept this for a week means you didn't want to talk about it, and Jimin is sure it's why you'd kept Jungkook in the dark again. As your friend and colleague, he knows there's more to say, but the last thing he wants is you losing focus at work, so he sits back down and urges you to look at him.