so what if you made a deal with an omnipotent god and then got hit by a car

Getting hit by a car and running into demons on the same day, L moment

 I look both ways, cross the street and promptly get hit by a fucking car.

While it didn't kill me it still hurt like a motherfucker. I opened my eyes a bit to see the car and- you have got to be kidding me. It's MK's delivery car thing. At this point I question if the person who revived me decided to fuck with me or if the gods of this world just hate me.

I feel myself get dragged somewhere and I just wait until they try to wake me up to open my eyes. I can hear who I assume is pigsy yelling at MK. I mean I would be pissed too imagine the lawsuits. Somehow forgetting everything about how one should react to the situation at hand I say the first thing that comes to mind.

"Oh hey I was heading here before I got hit by delivery boy over here."

I think everyone in the immediate vicinity lost braincells from the words that just came out of my mouth. Looking around I see tang, pigsy, MK, and mei for whatever reason. Deciding to dig my grave even deeper I talk again.

"You know if I had a nickel for every time I got hit by a car today I would have two nickels, which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice right?"

"I'm assuming they have brain damage"

I wheeze at that, holy fucking shit. I cleared my throat and tried to stop laughing before I spoke. 

"Nope, just stupid."

They proceed with the questions like what time is it, what day is it, and what year is it. Luckily I already checked all of those things on the (now mine) phone from the lady who used to own the house I woke up in. I decided to hang out for a while and asked tang about the monkey king to get him talking. 

Even after awhile the side that the car hit was sore as fuck. I ordered a bowl of noodles, trying to go for something my saltine ass could handle. As soon as it was in my grubby ass hands on it. Holy shit I was hungry, probably something about being reincarnated into a literally fresh baked body.

I was yoinked out of my thoughts when I heard Tang and pigsy argue. This feels familiar, wait a second. THIS IS THE EPISODE WHERE MK GETS THE STAFF. Getting up and dropping the money to pay for the bowl I headed out of the shop and immediately started running.

Not paying  enough attention to how fast I was going, just thinking about trying to get to the construction site before MK. After about 15 minutes I took a break from running. Leaning against the wall I took a second to catch my breath.

 As I lean on the alley wall I look across from me and a construction site. After I stare at it for a minute I realize it's the same one MK goes in the first episode. I rush past the do not enter sign, jut trying to get there before MK so I don't look like a stalker.

Fuck this really is kinda like that. Wait not really- I'm only following him so that I can get involved in the plot. With that justification I'm about to enter the rickety ass elevator when I hear a carr pull up. Sure enough MK comes out of the car. He seems surprised that I was there.

"Wait why are you here?"

Ah shit, I need a bluff. It's suspicious to just randomly walk into an elevator in a (seemingly empty) construction site. It would look like I'm some sort of drug dealer or something.

"I heard some weird noises when I was walking by, so I decided to check it out."

I shrug to help sell it. He seems to have bought it because he just nods. Scratch that, he stops and gives me a weird look.

"You heard weird noises from an empty construction site, and your first thought was to get into the elevator they're coming from?"

I give my best deadpan stare like he just said the most ridiculous thing in the world. Hoping that would throw him off I reply casually.

"I decided to investigate."

He looked awkward and for a moment I felt bad but it was the best thing I could've done in the situation. He goes back to wearing his headphones and the elevator lands. While we were walking I made sure to be ready to bolt and hide behind a rock or something as quickly as possible.

"It feels like I've waited an eternity for this moment, is everything in order?"

MK quickly hid behind one of the walls separating the elevator and the room they were in. I quickly stopped listening, simply waiting for MK to climb the pipes before I followed. I decided to sit on one instead of what MK did, knowing how badly it ended.

I stared at monkey king disguised as a bird, eventually he stared back so I averted my attention to MK. I listened in again once I was sure I wouldn't fall off on accident. I watched as the bull clone tried to lift the staff. I tried not to snicker when it failed, not wanting to get my ass burned off if I was heard.

"You fool, you think we haven't tried that already? It's gonna take more than just a few robots to left the staff."

I stopped paying attention to what he was saying specifically, just watching shit go down. I ignored MK struggling, pretending to be more focused on red son at the moment. As much as I felt bad for the poor dude this had to happen or else he might not get the staff.

I was unimpressed when DBK rose from the mountain, going on about being back to the mortal realm. Remembering this was the part where MK fell I started looking at him. As I did I realized I probably hadn't blinked for the past 30 minutes, regeneration bs works at small levels too I guess.

I watched as MK tried to shoo the bird, ignoring the reunion going on below us. Staring at the "bird" pecking his hands. After he fell I watched for a bit, planning to jump ship as soon as he was about to leave. I noticed the "bird" aka disguised monkey king moving closer to me.

"Don't you dare"

I was being as quiet as possible while staring at disguised monkey king. I glared at him all the way until he started pecking at my hands keeping me steady on the pipe. I tried to smack him away but it only made him more determined to throw me off the pipe. After a short back and forth I felt myself slip and fall.

Landing ass first on the ground.

(A/N HOLY SHIT THAT WAS LONG. I wasn't quite sure how to end the chapter for awhile so lucky for you readers you get a longer chapter today. I decided to expand on the regenerative abilities and as promised they are going to be nerfed in the next chapter. They've already kinda been nerfed by the fact that they still feel the pain of shit that's supposed to kill them but it'll be more obvious next chapter. Have a good day y'all)