assigned emotion

29: finally

theo

Never had he been more scared in his life. Writing the letter had been easy- relieving, actually- but giving it to Tanner was probably the most terrifying thing he'd ever done. His heart was pounding in his chest as he chewed on his nails, waiting outside of his classroom. He'd given the letter to Tanner ten minutes prior, and he was getting quite nervous that Tanner hadn't come to talk to him yet. Chewing on his lip, tapping his fingers, and biting his nails was not helping- so he just stood still and rubbed his eyes. There were a few people around him, but not many, and they paid him no attention. Suddenly, there was a commotion down the hall. A door slammed, and he heard someone snapping, then frantic apologizing. He turned to look, and who else could it be but Tanner Walsh, speed-walking towards him with wide eyes.

"Theo!" He cried, a smile stretching over his face.

"Tanner?" He quietly replied, his voice more shaky and hushed than he'd planned.

"Hi," he said, stopping right in front of him, his face splitting into an even bigger grin.

"Hi?" Theo replied, his heart racing. Did he even read the letter?

"Oh, god, Theo," Tanner said, then lifted him into his arms, pulling him straight off the ground.

"Tanner!" Theo squawked in surprise, tensely laughing. "What are you- what?"

"God, I love you," Tanner laughed, squeezing him so tightly Theo worried his bones would break. "So much. So so much."

"Okay, that's great, put me down!" Theo laughed as Tanner gently returned him to the ground. "You've made a scene," he said, gesturing to the few people staring at them in surprise.

"I don't care," Tanner said, still smiling. "I don't- oh my god, Theo," he said, and was then hugging him again.

"Did- did you read it?" Theo asked, still nervous. This was not the reaction he'd been expecting.

"What do you think?" Tanner laughed, brushing hair out of his face. At Theo's silent reply, he answered: "Yes! Yes I read it, Theo! Of course I did! And, oh my god Theo," he whispered, blushing. "Thank you. Thank you so much." Then he was brushing hair out of Theo's face, and he was still smiling. "Thank you."

"So-" Theo began, but his voice sounded more like a squawk then he'd planned. He cleaned his throat and tried again. "So you don't hate me?"

"Hate you?" Tanner laughed, very loudly. "Hate you? Theo, just this morning I was telling you I wanted to be more than friends, why would you saying you love me make me hate you?" Realization dawned on Theo.

"Oh! Ohhh, I see! I thought- I thought you were saying you didn't wanna be friends and were then backpedaling! Hah! I didn't- wait." Realization dawned on him once again. "Wait. What did you mean?" He thought he knew, but he was still unsure. Could he really be saying what he thought he was?

"Theo, I'm saying that-" Tanner cut himself off, swallowing. "Theo. Do you wanna be my boyfriend?" Theo's eyes widened, giddy shock pouring through him.

"Really?" He squeaked, eyes wide. "Like, actually?"

"Yes. Yes, like, actually." Tanner smiled down at him. "So?"

"Yes," Theo replied breathlessly. "Yeah. Yeah. Definitely. Please," he spoke, leaning against Tanner. "Yeah."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Good," he laughed, running his hand through Theo's hair.

"But, Tanner," Theo started, nervous once more. "Are you sure? I'm just- I'm a lot to deal with, and people will find out, and-"

"Theo, I am sure," he said softly, staring down to meet his eyes. "I am definite."

"But what if people find out?"

"I want them to find out. I want them to know that you're mine." Theo blushed, burying his face in Tanner's chest.

"But-"

"Theo," he said, grinning broadly. "No buts. You're mine."

...

a short while later

"Hi." Tanner smiled down at him, his blue eyes crinkling at the corners. He sat across from him at the lunch table, smiling softly.

"Hey," he replied, tilting his head to the side.

          "Hey, guys." Violet sat next to Theo, tucking her fiery red hair behind her ear. She'd been sitting at their table recently, ever since she'd come to Tanner's apartment.

Then Fern sat next to him, turning her gaze to Violet. She'd recently become close with Violet ever since she'd left Tanner's old friend group. They'd been partnered together in math, and been best friends ever since. Theo thought it was quite cute.

          "Hi, Violet," Fern pointedly spoke. She gently punched her arm across the table, grinning.

           "Hi, Fern," Violet grumbled. She always acted as though she was annoyed by Violet, but it was clear how much she liked her. Everyone knew that Fern was very much in love with Violet, including the object of her affection. Theo always found their relationship funny. Violet was tomboy-cool, she always had her bright orange hair cut short to accent her blue eyes and freckles. She usually wore overalls or jeans with some type of band shirt, very much unlike Fern. Fern reminded Tanner of Courtney, as he sometimes told Theo in private. She always wore fishnets or some sort of gothic outfit. Her hair was half black and half green, just as short as Violet's. Fern's eyes were honey brown, apparently that was also similar to Courtney's. And, another key detail about her- she was obsessed with Violet, who was straight. Theo laughed to himself, taking a quick bite of his sandwich.

He was so grateful to have Tanner by his side- talking to him, holding him, kissing him- it was wonderful. He finally felt wanted, like he belonged somewhere. It was perfect. Tanner was perfect. Theo had never realized how lonely or starved he was until he'd met someone who quenched his thirst for love. Thankfully, he had Tanner.

And he never planned to let him go.