assigned emotion

11: moonlight

tanner

Something weird was going on. Something very weird. Whenever Tanner looked at Theo, he got this weird feeling in his torso, like his organs had suddenly turned to hot chocolate. His brown freckles, the way his eyes creased when he smiled, the way he openly teased Tanner, his whole personality. He was really starting to care about this dork, despite only knowing him for a few weeks. A sort of strange protectiveness had set in, and he didn't mind it at all. That was the strangest thing of all.

        "Nobody even does that," Theo complained at the TV, they were watching some nature documentary on the Discovery channel.

       "Does what? Go hiking?" Tanner asked, snapped out of his thoughts and glancing at the TV.

       "Yeah. Like, no one really enjoys it, let alone goes out of their way to do it. Have you ever met someone who just really loves hiking? 'Cause I haven't." Tanner laughed at Theo's muttering.

"When's the last time you've been outside, for like, fun?" Theo thought about the question for a second, hesitating.

"I don't actually know, but that onto adds to my point." Tanner laughed, staring over at Theo while he watched the documentary.

        "I used to love going outside at my aunt's place when I was a kid. It's this beautiful little cabin in New Hampshire that's just, like, set away from everything. I love it there."

       "I'd love to see it someday," Theo gently murmured, glancing at Tanner with his affectionate green eyes.

"Okay then. It's decided. I'm taking you to New Hampshire." Theo rolled his pretty eyes with a laugh.

         "Yeah? When?"

        "Are you free right now?" Tanner joked.

         "Seriously? Right now?" He nodded in reply. "Tanner, we live in northern Maine. That's a four hour drive." Tanner smiled bigger, nodding again.

  "And? It's Friday, we have two more days before school starts again." Theo's eyes widened dramatically.

"You are proposing we drive four hours to New Hampshire, at 8 PM, for what?" Tanner shrugged.

"To go see my aunt's house. We'd do it for fun! Come on," begged Tanner. Theo laughed again, obviously still shocked.

"Are you always this impulsive?" Tanner cracked a huge grin, grabbing Theo's wrist and dragging him to his room.

"A little. Anyways, we're doing this. Here, I'll let you borrow my clothing and pack you a bag." Theo glared at him.

"No way." Tanner laughed, quickly throwing random clothes into a bag and zipping it shut.

        "You agree to go on a trip with me to my aunt's house four hours away at 8 PM on a Friday, but borrowing my clothes is where you draw the line?"

     "Hey, I never even agreed to do this," Theo interjected, throwing up his hands.

"We're doing this, Benson." Tanner tossed the bag at Theo, snorting at his still-shocked expression.

"I cannot believe this, but I'm actually going to agree with you. I can't exactly let you do this alone." Tanner grinned broadly, clapping Theo on the shoulder .

"It's going to be great, trust me." He shouldered his own bag, grabbing his keys and phone.

"Whatever you say, Tanner Walsh."

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"I cannot believe I'm going on a four hour road trip right now," Theo groaned as he stares out the window, but Tanner could tell he didn't really mind. He seemed mesmerized by the street lights passing by, his large eyes lazily watching them sparkle. Tanner was too busy staring at him, to appreciate the scenery, but he felt overwhelmed. There was just something captivating about Theo Benson, and it scared him how much he liked that. The moonlight washed over Theo's soft features, gently outlining his cheekbones and jawline. Stars reflected in his too-big round glasses, turning his eyes into two earth-colored planets. His sandy brown hair hung in loose chunks in front of his face, occasionally brushed away by soft movements of his head. Tanner felt his heart begin to race, just from his observation of Theo. Did he really dislike him as much as he thought he did? Was he just scared to come to terms with his feelings? He'd never felt the way he did around Theo with anyone else. Theo was just...

Special.

"What?" Theo smiled, revealing his pearly white and slightly crooked teeth as he turned to face Tanner.

"I don't know." Theo rolled his eyes, a smirk creeping up onto his dimpled and freckles cheeks.

"Eyes on the road, Walsh," he murmured, his voice reminding Tanner of waves crashing on the shore of a beach he thought he'd forgotten.

It was true, he had never met someone like Theo.

And it was also true that he didn't dislike him at all.

|||

"Hey, green eyes, wake up." Tanner gently shook Theo awake with a quiet laugh. The quietness of the car ride had lulled Theo to sleep, but Tanner didn't mind. Left alone with his thoughts, he'd had time to sort some things out that seriously needed sorting.

"Tanner?" Theo's voice was so tired and confused, nearly making Tanner's chest cave in. He's so sweet.

"Come here," he whispered, shouldering both of their bags and scooping his arms under Theo's shoulders. He was, not to Tanner's surprise, very light- just skins and bones.

"Hey, put me down," he murmured, only half awake as he leaned against his supporter. Tanner shook his head, unlocking the door to his aunt's cabin as Theo looped his arms around his neck. He buried his face into his collarbone, allowing Tanner to gauge how incredibly nice Theo smelled. It was a piney and woody odor that just felt safe. The door swung open and Tanner walked in slowly, careful not to drop or disturb Theo. He walked to the back, gently placing Theo onto a bed and pulling the comforters over his thin shoulders.

"Goodnight, Theo," he whispered, quickly running the backside of his hand over the top of his head. Theo's hand suddenly shot out, pulling him close. He wrapped him in a hug, sitting up in bed.

"Thank you for everything, Tanner. You're the best." Tanner felt his heart swell with pride, Theo thought he was good.

      "I'm trying."

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Tanner walked through the empty hallway, glancing at the framed pictures hanging on the walls. He couldn't recognize anyone in the images, their faces swimming back and forth. He'd had this dream many times- it always ended the same- yet he couldn't change it. Down the hall and to the bathroom. A large white door loomed in front of him, a single red handprint pressed against it. He felt a tear run down his face as he reached for the doorknob, against his own intentions. He couldn't control what he did in the dream, he just had to relive the memory in his then 15 year old body. Suddenly, he snapped awake, sitting up quickly. He gained awareness of his surroundings quickly, squeezing his eyes shut. He realizes that someone's arm was wrapped around his waist and someone's hand was pressed against his cheek.

"Hey, it's okay, I'm here." Theo's comforting voice unexpectedly lulled it's way into Tanner's ears, calming him he leaned into Theo's side, tentatively allowing him to comfort him. Is this too much? Am I going to scare him? What am I thinking? What am I DOING? "What's going on, Tanner?"

"Bad dream," he shortly answered, wrapping his arms around Theo's waist and rolling onto his back to hide his teary face. "Can we just go back to sleep?"

"Of course."