𝐅𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍: 𝐦𝐢𝐲𝐚 𝐨𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐮

(xxvi) star crossed

when you'd left mykonos, the sun was shining and the nights were neither too hot nor too cold. sea breeze provided for a perfect atmosphere and there were people wherever you looked.

what a sharp difference it was to the mykonos you came back to.

tourist season had ended now so you didn't see too many people. the sky had been downcast since you'd arrived and chilly winds were blowing, making it tough to venture out in the open.

you made your way to one of the places on the island that were more familiar to you.

you had no idea what you were doing here of all places.

maybe because it was the only place in your name that wasn't directly linked to your family. or maybe because it was the only place where you last remembered being truly happy.

"ms.sakusa, this is a surprise!", the manager of the bar that you co-owned with osamu miya greeted you with a willingness to please, immediately letting you in, "what can i do for you?"

there were only a few people in the bar right now since it was still daytime. you settled down in one corner of the bar, looking around.

your phone had been turned off for a while now. you'd gone to osamu's apartment building- mainly to pick up some clothes, because you had a card to access the top floor and you didn't want to go back home.

the security around the penthouse elevator recognised you, so they let you through without many questions.

you wanted to cry when you saw that it was exactly as you'd left it. he hadn't even packed your clothes into a bag, they were still randomly intertwined with his favourite hoodies that you liked to wear sometimes.

osamu miya was so confusing to you. so very frustrating.

and coming back to a space that you associated with happiness- you had come to realise- had more to do with you trying to fix yourself by remembering happiness with osamu than the happiness you'd felt when he wasn't in your life at all.

you were in an incredibly dark place at this point in time. empty and...lost. unable to piece together what you thought or felt.

a few minutes after you'd arrived, you got your hands on some good weed.

yes, you'd promised yourself you'd try to smoke less. and yes, you didn't care about promises anymore because not once in your life had anyone kept any that they made to you.

day faded into nighttime and the rain began pouring louder. the bar was pretty dead in the night too, because no one wanted to step out in the night. apparently there were warnings of a storm.

you told the staff to head home. they were very sceptical, considering you looked very stoned. but you reassured them.

they didn't really know you well enough to stay with you any longer so they finally did leave. the manager gave you his number so you could call him if you needed something.

this left you alone in the building space.

the bar wasn't exceptionally big but it had charm. there was a good amount of alcohol in the back and there was a pantry and a kitchen.

you didn't feel very hungry though, so you went back out and smoked some more. you think you might've fallen asleep for some time but you had no idea how long.

old you would've hated being so alone in a foreign country. new you had lost her sense of self preservation.

when you woke up, your head was throbbing and you were still very high. there was a deep rumble in your stomach and you felt very fatigued.