Interviewer: Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce our next guest, known worldwide for his amazing charm and charisma, pop-star sensation, METHANOL.
* crowd cheers *
* interviewer and methanol shake hands *
Interviewer: Methanol! It's so great to have you back.
Methanol: It's great to be back. How are you?
Interviewer: I'm great! Super excited for your new album to get released. Please, tell us more about it.
Methanol: Ah my upcoming album! It's called Bent, named after my VSEPR shape. The lead single is something new that I've tried, it's named after the electron configuration of my central atom, carbon. Its name is 1s22s22p2, [He]2s22p2 for short. I'm super excited for everyone to hear it this Friday when it gets released!
Interviewer: That such an unique concept, the album cover (* project album cover (carbon energy level diagram) *) is even more unique though.
* crowd gasps and oos and ahhs *
Methanol: Yeah, it's the energy level diagram of my central atom. I really wanted to highlight and give recognition to my central atom, carbon. It's just always been there and I wanted to thank and appreciate it through this album. I'm really worried though since it's something new. I just hope everyone loves it as much as I do.
* crowd gives reassurance by cheering *
Interviewer: Ah but you said the same thing about your previous album, CH3OH, but look at how well that album did.
Methanol: Yeah! That album was one of my favourites, it was named after my condensed structural formula, it's album cover was my full structural formula. (* project album cover (full structural formula) *)
Interviewer: And your lead single, △H = −726.1kJ/mol (molar enthalpy of combustion = -726.1 kilojoules per mol) did amazing!
Methanol: Yeah! It was #1 on the Billboard Hot 100, it was such an amazing accomplishment. I'm so grateful for my fans for making that possible.
Interviewer: Now, Methanol. I know this might be a triggering subject, but everyone wants to know. What's going on with your latest scandal?
* Methanol starts tearing up *
Methanol: Yeah, so everyone knows that I was made through a direct combination of, my mom, carbon monoxide gas and, my dad, hydrogen in the presence of a catalyst, Dr. Copper-Zinc. But recently I found out that I was adopted. I was actually made by methane being infused into porous iron zeolites. I just never knew and it took a huge toll on me, I even went on hiatus just to heal for a bit.
Interviewer: I'm so sorry Methanol. Here, have a tissue (* gives Methanol tissues *). We can't have everyone's favourite alcohol crying on our stage.
* both chuckle *
Methanol: Thank you. I'm the favourite alcohol?
Interviewer: Yeah, they call you the wood alcohol for a reason!
Methanol: Oh I thought they called me that since I used to be made with wood.
Interviewer: Eh that reasoning is part of why you're called that.
Methanol: You know what would be a cooler nickname though? The blinder, since ingesting me can, you know, lead to blindness and all that.
Interviewer: Blinder! That sounds very cool.
* Interviewer checks time *
Interviewer: Well folks, that's all the time we have today. Thank you so much for coming Methanol and good luck with your upcoming album!
Methanol: Thank you for having me!
* Methanol leaves while crowd cheers *
