Existential

Chapter 1

Life was a bit difficult currently. Oh no, not for me but for this boy. It's just too fun to mess with him and get on his nerves. I guess it's just a part of high school for me, messing with other kids and drinking vodka under the bleachers during PE with my friends. Tyler was my current target.

He's a brunette on the varsity basketball team and he's a devote Christian. Like if Jesus came down in the form of a ukulele playing basketball player that'd be Tyler. This just made him easier to annoy, especially since I'm agnostic. It began with a few "anti-Jesus" remarks in a class that I was assigned to sit next to him in. Tyler would just shush me and carry on then I would progress it to in between classes. Unfortunately for him we share practically the same schedule except for two classes so I can torment him all day.

My favorite part of doing this is when the kid finally breaks. This hasn't happened yet with Tyler but it will...soon. I remember I used to do the same thing with this girl named Brenda. She was nice but she needed to learn the world isn't as sweet as she is. I would just insult her, nothing serious though. Mainly just "Oh your eyeliner is uneven" or "Hey Brenda, boyfriend break up with you yet?" Her boyfriend was a douche though, she should've known he would eventually cheat on her. One day she just screamed at me to shut up and leave her alone. That's the best part. I left her alone after that and she eventually began to leave her friend group and progress to a group of people more like me.

Me and Pine call it the 'copy-cat group' because whatever we do they do 3 days later. For example, we put dung beetles in all the trash cans. Three days later there were dung beetles crawling out of classrooms. This is just one small case of course. What the best part is though, if we get blamed we can say they did it and there's evidence against them. The principal called us in for the dung beetles and we said they did it. There was evidence that the other group did it because they don't cover their tracks as well and they get the punishment we deserved.

"Aren't you going to say something?" A voice snaps at me. I open my eyes and look to where the voice came from.

"Oh, hey Tyler." I mutter and put my foot up on my desk. I look to the front of the classroom to see that there is only 5 minutes left in class. The teacher is droning on about physics, stuff I've learned about long ago.

"Really no remark? You got nothing today?" He urges me and I roll my eyes.

"What-do you enjoy me making fun of your God?" I ask him and roll my head to look him in the eyes. Once my gaze lands on him he immediately looks away and I smirk. I tend to have that kind of effect on people.

"It's more interesting than physics," Tyler mutters.

"Maybe if you actually understood physics you wouldn't enjoy me insulting you," Tyler looks back over at me and I smile at him before turning away.

The bell rings and I get up from the blue chair and sling my backpack on my shoulder. I walk out of the classroom with Tyler trailing behind me and I head to the cafeteria. I am supposed to ditch US History to hang out with Pine in the football field. Tyler taps me on my shoulder when I get to the cafeteria doors and I turn to face him.

"Do you need anything Jesus?" I ask him and cross my arms.

"Yeah. Aren't you coming to class," Tyler asks me and I scoff.

"No. Plus it's none of your business," I tell him.

"Well I'm not covering for you and your perfect transcript in class if you don't come." Tyler threatens me.

"Oh is Jesus in a bad mood? Gettin' a little attached to me."

"No. I'm just trying to help you out. You seem like someone who doesn't get helped that often, "Tyler says and I try my best not to roll my eyes.