snowdrop | 최범규

21 | goodbye, love.

                                     D - 0 (pt 2)

Lavender sat inside of the payphone station with her elbows on her knees, her face in her hands. after everything, she was just too late. she thought he would leave in a few hours but maybe she was wrong. she had been wrong alone.

maybe it's for the better she isn't with him. that he won't be with her anymore and that he left before she could say anything.

the pay phone was dark. the street lamps had been the only source of light in her life at that moment. once they flickered, it felt like nothing was on her side anymore.

she wiped her tears and pressed her ear to the payphone, knowing Beomgyu won't hear her at the empty bus bench. she just needed to explain to somebody, even if it were to a blank wall.

"i'm so sorry." she muttered, sobbing unbothered at the fact nobody would care to listen or judge. "i love you still, i really really love you and i can't explain it to you. i remember that day at the bus stop three months ago. the day i loved you in the snow and how you danced so beautifully." she cried into the telephone.

"i'm sorry i couldn't see you before you left. i wanted to explain everything, explain the love i had for you and the angry feelings i didn't express right. i'm upset that you're leaving and you didn't tell me but there's nothing i can do now. i'm sorry for hurting you and that your last memory of me will be a memory of a terrible person who was never worthy of your love. i love you and your laugh and your beautiful eyes that i could watch crinkle every day. thank you for loving me and..." she sobbed harder and harder. "i'm so sorry i can't see you anymore. thank you for loving the flawed person i am. i want you to find somebody better in Korea but, please come back for me. please come back to me." her hand came up to her face and sobbed. "i miss you more than life. i love you so much, Beomgyu."

"i love you too."

Lavender whipped her head around to see a familiar face with tears running down his face and a wrap around his knee.

"B-Beomgyu?" she stuttered, but before she could say anything else, he ran into her arms and embraced her.

"Lavender." he cried onto her shoulder. "oh my god, my love."

he cried and kissed the side of her head, her tears wetting his sweater.

"y-you're still here?"

"my flight leaves in an hour, it was delayed."

"i-i thought you left.....i was so scared." she cried in his  chest as he played with her hair, tears falling down his face.

"Taehyun told me you were at the airport, i ran back to see you. i ran from the airport to see you here, too." he cried and kissed her head again. "i didn't want to leave you like that, darling. i love you so much. and i'm so sorry i didn't tell you before, i really am."

as if he kept his promise, it would be spring soon. he promised to stay until spring.

"i know." she cried and pulled away to look up at him. "i-it just hurts that you have to leave and i'll never see you."

"i know." he kissed her forehead. "i'm so sorry, baby. i don't want to leave you. but i promise i'll come back. i would never want to leave you."

and there, as if it were magical, he slipped through her fingers at the first place their love bloomed.

                                     *:･✧*: :*

Lavender went with Beomgyu to the airport. without anymore delays, he would soon have to board the plane. he looked back to the girl and ran up to her, slamming his lips onto hers. yet, it was delicate and tear filled. their tears were felt by each other as they said goodbye for the last time.

"we'll keep in touch." he pulled back and kissed her forehead. "but i don't want to be the reason you stop yourself from loving. please, love somebody better, who can stay with you, unlike me. i'm so sorry, darling." he kissed her and waved good bye. "i love you."

"i love you, too." Lavender's heart broke watching such an innocent first love board the plane. Taehyun stood next to her as she fell to her knees, crying. he comforted her, but nothing could help the empty pit inside of her. watching his bloody knee for her fade away in the distance.

if it were a film, Beomgyu would stop the plane and come back. if it were a film, they would still be together and love happily. but no, nothing was what it seemed for them. with his guitar hooked on his back, he would've played her the song. but he was long gone,

because it wasn't a film. it was an innocent love.

"let's go home, Lav."

and love would come back to her one day.

                                     THE END.