BS #1: Egsel's Art Subject

31

Dahil sa text na iyon ay agad akong nagbihis. Sakto ding kakalabas lang ni Tristan mula sa CR.

Nagtataka niya akong tiningnan. "Where are you going?"

"Hospital."

"Egsel, I told yo---"

"The operation was successful daw. Nagtext si Mommy." Pagkatapos talian ang buhok ko ay hinarap ko siya. "What does it mean, Tristan? Anong operasyon iyon?"

"It's better if---"

"What was that operation about, Tristan? You pushed through sir Mitt's plan?"

"Egsel---"

"YOU LET HIM KILL HIMSELF?" galit kong sigaw.

"He didn't kill himself, Egsel! He willingly gave his life! He was just trying to help!" sigaw din niya.

"By giving his life? Alam kong hindi siya magtatagal sa mundo pero bakit naman parang nagmamadali siya!" Inis kong sinabunutan ang sarili. "Bakit ba napakaselfish ng lalaking 'yon!"

Huminga nang malalim si Tristan. "He was bleeding yesterday, Selly. His nose bled and he was also puking with blood. Sobrang dami niyang nilabas na dugo. Kung hindi lang siya nawalan ng malay, baka hindi iyon natigil."

"And you all chose to hide that from me?" hindi makapaniwala kong tanong.

Imbes na sagutin ako ay nagpatuloy siya sa pagkwento.

"He woke up earlier feeling so weak. His nose was still bleeding. He couldn't think straight and he's too tired to even move a finger. He needed to use an oxygen to steady his breathing. He knew what might happen, Selly. He requested--- no, he begged to do the operation. He wanted to do it, Egsel. Even tita Emilia at tito David had no choice but do their son's biddings."

"Talaga? At hinayaan niyong gawin niya iyon nang hindi ko alam? Ginawa niyo ang operasyon nang hindi ko nakikita ang kapatid ko?" malakas kong sigaw at tinapon ang una kong nahawakang gamit. "Hindi lang siya ang selfish! Kayo rin! Ang makasarili niyo!"

"Stop it, Egsel! You're hurting yourself!"

Pilit na lumapit sa akin si Tristan pero mas nagwawala ako. Tinatapon ko ang lahat ng pwedeng itapon sa kwarto. Mula sa lampshade hanggang sa vases. Maging ang cellphone niya ay naitapon ko.

"EGSEL!" galit niyang sigaw.

"I'm hurting myself?" natatawa kong tanong sa kan'ya saka kumuha ng bubog mula sa vase na binagsak ko.

Nanlaki ang mga mata ni Tristan nang makita iyon.

"Don't do anything stupid, Selly... Put that down..." malambing niyang turan at humakbang ng isa papalapit sa akin.

"If you take one more step towards me. I'm gonna slit my wrist using this sharp object," banta ko dahilan para huminto siya sa paghakbang.

"Put that down, Egsel. Please... You're making me worry," nagsusumamo niyang sambit.

"Don't tell me that bullshit, Tristan! Isa ka rin sa kanila! Tarantado ka rin! Makasarili! Sinungaling!"

"We're just trying to save you from pain..."

"And you fucking think I am not hurting now? You think this isn't hurting me?" Tumalim ang tingin ko sa kan'ya. "Or you want to see me hurt myself so you'll know how hurt I am right now?"

"Selly..." malumanay at kalmado siyang ngumiti sa akin. "Put that down. Your hands are already bleeding..."

"Take a step and I'm killing myself!" Mas dumiin ang pagkakahawak ko sa bubog at naramdaman na ako ng hapdi. Tumulo na sa sahig ang dugo.