It's been a week since I saw Jonas with that girl, and my thoughts are still running wild with the image of them. I keep thinking about me in that position instead of Leslie, but whenever I do, I have to splash water on my face because I start blushing. I'v lost count of how many times I'v had to do that now.
When I told Lily about what I had seen, she got up and started planning ways to murder Jonas. Quite literally too. I had to force her not to pull out a knife from the kitchen drawer, and when she finally calmed down, her face was still red with anger.
I think she has seen how much he affects me without me having to tell her, so she gets that I like him. A lot.
That's why I love her. I don't have to always tell her everything. She can read me and doesn't bring up the conversation, because she knows how I feel when I talk about it.
Very shit is an understatement of how I feel.
I'm currently in town with my mum, shopping for some smart clothes that I need for sixth form. I'v been wearing the same blazer for three months now, and I desperately need a new one.
We're in H&M, when I spot this beautiful green blazer. It's kind of a dark sage, and it has matching trousers with it. I practically run over to it and search through the sizes to find the one that fits me. I sigh in relief, seeing a size 10 (UK size) and grab it, signalling to my mum that I'm going to the changing rooms to try it on. I'm probably going to wear a black t shirt or formal blouse with it to make it more modest so my whole chest isn't spilling out, which kind of defeats the objective of wearing a hijab.
That would be fun wouldn't it.
I walk around the aisles of clothes towards the fitting rooms and smile at the lady who gives me a number on a plastic board kind of thing, telling me that changing room number 7 is free.
I walk inside, and place my bag and the suit I need to try on on the pegs that are stuck to the walls.
There is a mirror which fills up one whole wall of the room, and I start to take my clothes off, making a face at myself in the mirror.
That's one thing I hate, looking at myself. I always find something that I don't like and I hate myself for it.
I grab the suit and put it on, being careful not to mess up my hijab on my head. I can't be asked to take it off then put it back on again.
Facing the mirror again, I practically squeal in excitement when I see how the suit looks. It's not too tight to show the shape of my body, but not too loose. It's perfect and I love it. I'm definitely going to buy this.
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I can easily change up the trousers if I wanted to. Coordinate with different shirts to make it more casual or formal.
I take the suit off and put my original clothes on, consisting of a pair of black jeans, a plain cream t shirt and a brown jacket over the top.
Oh and I can't forget my Doc's to go with that. They're literally my lifeline.
I make my way out of the changing rooms and give back the number to the lady at the entrance, waving goodbye to her as she does the same, giving me a thumbs up on the fact that I'm buying the suit.
I find my mum looking at some earrings and walk over to her, standing beside her and peeking over her shoulder to see which ones have caught her interest.
They're a pair of tiny green studs with a silver plating around them.
"I'm thinking of getting these for Sofia. What do you think?" My mum turns to look at me, and I nod my head eagerly. "I love them. You should get them." I suddenly feel happy, and I think it's because of my successful find.
She nods her head and raises her eyebrows at me. "Have you found anything you like?" She asks, and I bring the suit from behind my back where I was hiding it, waiting for her reaction.
"Yeah, I'm getting this suit. I love it and it fits me so nicely too." I show her and she smiles my way, telling me that she likes it. "I love the colour. Are you sure you want to get it?" She asks and I nod my head in reassurance.
We walk over to the tills and my mum pays for my suit and the earring. She always insists that because we're her children, she always buys our necessities like clothes, and we can buy the things we like, for example vinyls or books.
"Are we done in town? I'm getting a bit tired and my feet are hurting." I say, looking over at my mum. "Yeah, I don't need to go anywhere else. We'll make lunch when we get back. I'll ring your dad to put some leftover rice on from last night." She says and we begin walking to the car park, putting out bags in the boot and getting in.
Town is about a ten to fifteen drive from out house, but because it's a Saturday morning and everyone is in town, there's a lot of traffic, so it takes longer for us to get home than usual.
The rest of the day passes by quite quickly, and before I know it, I'm lying in bed, scrolling on my phone.
My bed feels so warm and comfy at the moment and i feel like I never want to leave it.
If you never hear from me again, know I'm probably still in bed.
I'm scrolling through Pinterest, adding hot guys to my board when I see a notification pop up on the top of my screen.
My fingers freeze and I stare at the message with wide eyes, not knowing how to react.
It's an instagram DM from none other than Jonas.
When the notification disappears from the top of my screen, I swipe down and read the message again without opening it.
Hey. How are you? Look, I just want to say that I'm sorry for what you saw the other day.
I don't bother replying because I'm trying to avoid him, and if I'm texting him, then I'm not avoiding him. You see the conundrum?
Plus, I don't even know if he's serious about that apology. If he really was sorry, he probably would have apologised to my face instead of doing it over text.
Fucking wimp.
I leave the message on delivered and shut off my phone, making sure my Fajr alarm is on before turning around and falling asleep, the image of Leslie and Jonas fresh in my mind.
hey guys, so this is kind of a boring chapter, but the story will take a turn.
