✓| you're my savior

𝙋𝙧𝙤𝙡𝙤𝙜𝙪𝙚

warning//thoughts
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family member passing away. of course you're aware of it happening to peoples.

but the fact that its happening to you, out of all people. you won't believe them at first, because you were sure you heard his health got better yesterday, but then you saw your mother crying, alongside with your two little siblings.

your little brother told you about it. and now your body is covered up with a thick blanket, crying silently.

'damn illness...'

your phone rings, picking them up to see whose the caller.

its from your teacher. then you noticed the amount of private chats from your classmates, you saw a bunch of 'my condolences, sorry for your loss, stay strong'. you don't care how did they know, because news spread fast.

picking the call up after you hold in your sobs.

you heard a faint hello from the other side that is filled with concern and worry.

"yes miss?" you answer dryly, not making it obvious that you finished crying.

the two of you talked with each other, her motivating you to stay strong.

"a lot is going on right now, but stay strong. you're just starting your senior high school, you still have a lot to tackle. don't let it get to you."

you nod and thank her before she hung up.

'stay strong... right... i have to stay strong. as the eldest.'

though after you said that word countless times, you just can't help but feel,

unmotivated.

-----
your pov

mother is at it again.

getting angry at me and my little brother because we doesn't seems effected by father's death.

you're wrong. we are effected, mostly me.

i've lost my motivation, on living, on doing things.

"if i could just switch his place to mine, i'll gladly do it."

no. it should be me since the start.

im just a burden in the family. i can barely do anything right now.

school isn't going well to me.

everyone's so smart. i envy them for having that knowledge with them.

if only... i could be born with it too...

if only i won't be able to think about those kind of thoughts...

"we are in an economic crisis. please be understanding a little."

i do understand it. its my brother who doesn't understand.

of course i am fed up with the same thing my mother's saying.

she always says that we need to help her, lighten up the burden.

i did. i always tried to help her with house chores, unlike my lazy little brother here. all he does is play computer, eat, and sleep.

she always says that we need to enter a higher level in education, because that's our father's hope, for us to have a good education.

but i can't. i can't do it.

'but you won't know if you don't try.'

what's the point on trying if you can't?

why me out of all people? is it because im the oldest of the three? my youngers siblings are far more clever than me.

why me?

sigh.

i always hoped that i'll just close my eyes, then i won't be able to open them...

-----
no one's pov

walking into a music store, you immediatly went to the cd section, searching for your favourite band newest cd.

you're not here to buy them, only listening to the teaser.

your money won't be enough even though you want to buy them.

while walking, you didn't notice you crashing to a girl, which end up her apologizing first.

"sorry. its my fault for not looking."

you smile a little and shook your head, walking again.

she look at your back who's slowly dissapearing into the CD section.

she turn around, walking the same path you walked before, standing beside you.

she caught you smiling while looking at a cd.

the cover is a girl with blue hair and amber eyes.

'love live.'

she deadpan, didn't expect you to be liking something like that.

"you're interested in this too?"

she lightly shook her head, thinking why did she decide to follow you to the cd corner.

"of course no one would." then you frown, putting the cd back in place and sigh.

she misunderstood the frown is because of her not interested in what you like.

"im sorry for not taking interest in them..."

"oh its not about that. don't apologize. its just... i have a lot going on right now... sorry."

"don't apologize. its normal for people to have mood swings."

you smile with a furrowed eyebrows.

"im y/n l/n."

she blink repeatedly, before she also introduce herself.

"kanade yoisaki? then, yoisaki. i should be going back now. good bye."

"see you..."

see you. that's something you don't expect to come from someone you met the first time.

'people i met the first time, i will never meet them again. maybe two or three times, but that won't change anything. they won't be my friend, or anything more than that.'
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EDITED because of typing mistakes