-where art takes us-

pudding on a tree

One and a half hours... great. And what exactly am I supposed to do in the remaining time. School just ended and I am standing in front of the school with everyone else piercing past me either trying to catch the bus home or can drive themselves and go wherever. And me? I got a car but no destination yet.

I take my stuff and stumble to the forest to explore and hopefully find a good hideout for the future. I want something where I can draw and be free from all the bullshit that goes on at school and this shitty small town where gossip is as fast as the speed of light. I keep walking deeper into the forest leaving the sports field and sprint tracks behind until I found a park or picnic bench with loads of trash around it.

I throw my bag next to a tree and collect the trash to throw it in the nearest trash can. Without all of those disgusting beer cans and crisp bags, the small clearing actually looks quite presentable. I guess I could stay here till I need to get to the video shop.

I get my bag off the ground and look up at the massive tree that has enough branches to easily climb up to the treetop. I take the first few branches and work my way up to one that is thick and wide enough for me to lay on it. I lean against the tree trunk with my knees bent and pull out my sketch pad from my pocket to take in the view and try out Turner's change of perspective.

It's not just the art project I just prefer to be up high. Like that, I can see the world under me and can see people act without them knowing of my insight.

After only a few minutes I am able to witness some squirrels sitting on the bench to snack on the nuts they found. From my point of view, they look tiny. I try to sketch them before they can leave and manage a rough outline. Just when I get the base done they run away. My first instinct is to blame myself for moving too much but I am taught better with the arrival of Chrissy Cunningham.

She walks nervously to the clearing almost tripping over some roots.  Oh ho ho is she meeting up with someone? Her secret lover perhaps? Does Jason know about this? Maybe I should tell him what his princess is up to.

She seems on edge though, like someone is stalking her. She shouts "HELLO?" and turns to every side as if she is expecting to get jump scared. Her gaze lingers on the tree on which I am sitting much further up though than her gaze is. Her expression turns from confused and surprised to disgusted and scared. Fucked up scared as something horrible happened but nothing did happen.

She stares and stares into the tree and I'm already starting to find myself expecting the tree to turn inside out and try to devour her. It did not. Kinda disappointing. Instead, Crissy moves back step by step until she runs into Eddie who was jogging towards her, and almost pisses herself in shock.

For a short time, I was convinced that she saw me and that she was just extremely rude and mean but after she yelled at Eddie I'm not so sure anymore. "Woah hey, hey, hey. Sorry," he retorts and chuckles to himself "didn't mean to scare you. You okay?". His gaze softens and his cocky look changes to a worried look trying to figure out what was bothering Chrissy or if it was himself. Aww he softens and sometimes shows something other than this disinterest in the world and others.

He seems to be able to muster feelings not only for his friends but also for strangers... or does that mean that the two are a couple behind Jason's back. Well damn, that's sneaky. Chrissy turns her head and opens and closes her mouth several times as if to explain herself, but whatever she saw is gone and cannot be put into words.

Eddie just stands there and doesn't understand anything, waiting for an answer but only gets an even more confused Chrissy than before. Chrissy may be confused, but I can't deal with this constellation of personalities and hierarchical positions. Where are we here? In a bourgeois tragedy? Emilia Galotti or what? Nobody explains anything to me.