➳ capo dei capi // l.s.

4.2

Harry has been really happy. The happiest he's been in a while.

    Still, that happiness is an ephemeral feeling that he gets from time to time. It only lasts for so long until he's disappointed again and feels his own heart swell in his chest.

    Louis makes him happy, makes him feel loved, until he doesn't. It's always the same story with him. Harry does something that Louis doesn't like and manipulates him into changing for The Godfather. Louis makes a mistake that he doesn't admit and Harry ends up apologizing. Every time. It's like a never ending circle. Harry always forgives him after he is peppered with kisses and compliments, he just can't resist.

    He knows this is wrong, but he can't bring himself to ever tell Louis 'no', afraid of upsetting him. He's just so perfect!

    When he stands up to Louis, the man gets mad, causing Harry to be upset as a result. He feels the guilt eating him alive from the inside. He can't hold it in him.

    Louis really changed him. He began caring about other people's feelings, he became obsessed with someone. Him. Harry Styles, obsessed? Louis just has that something that gets you addicted. He's an expensive, luxurious drug that you can't let go of, no matter how much damage you know it causes you.

    It's just that... Louis is so special. He's never been easy to get and be toyed around like Harry usually did with his victims. The man is broken which compels Harry to want to take care of him and, in turn, be taken care of and loved.

    Harry loves Louis. And Louis loves Harry. He knows it. It's a fact. It's just that he'd always had a hard time showing his feelings, expressing them, afraid of letting his guard down.

    He's scared of losing Harry, the one person who isn't afraid of him. He's obsessed with Harry. It's a toxic obsession coming from both of them.

    No matter how toxic they are to each other, they complete themselves. What Harry doesn't have, Louis does and vice versa. When one doesn't feel loved, the other is always there to offer what they lack, along with hurt.

    They constantly fight, insult each other, become aggressive with each other, but end up making love and cuddling and gossiping together.

     The silvery moonlight from the round moon, which hangs high in the sky, coats everything in a luxurious pelt. Harry has been reflecting and contemplating for the past hour while sitting in the infinity pool outside Louis' mansion.

    It's times like this that he looks back on things and think about every choice he made that brought him here. He's not that innocent boy that started the school year, bored out of his mind and impatient to finish it already and get on with his life. He has two murders on his hands, he's been associated with a mafia for over half a year, he knows how to fight and how to defend himself, he knows how to think rationally and most importantly, he knows how not to be selfish. Yeah, maybe in the eyes of other people, he seems like a kid went down the dark hole, his life ruined, but he thinks otherwise. He thinks that something inside him changed. Something that made him fearless, more true to himself, more caring with the people around him. This journey with Louis had two completely different results... you know which ones. Spoiled brat? Not anymore. Rich? Always. More humble? We can say that.

    He suddenly heard a faint splashing sound behind him, gradually becoming louder as he felt a presence behind him. " What are you thinking about? " He heard a husky voice whisper towards him as he stared into the abyss of the view before him.

    Harry didn't turn around, but he still felt Louis' burning gaze on the moonlit valleys of his back. " Just... life. " He replied, still thoughtful, careful of what he let out.