One of the best spies in the United States suffers Post Traumatic Stress breakdowns and almost dying on the job. She goes back to her hometown to spend winter break with her family members and to take care of her mental health. Things are going well...
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"Is everything alright, Agent Dawn?" Agent Seni asks.
I'm sitting down next to the dead father and sulking at what just happened. Usually, I never let anything get to me during a mission. But this moment has me questioning everything.
"No" I replied.
"Come on, don't let that kid get to you." Agent Graves trying to help me move on, but it's not helping.
"It's not just the kid, it's this entire situation that happened. I never thought that a mission could end so poorly." I tell him.
"Poorly? What are you talking about? The mission was a success. We took out and arrested the bodyguards, the victims are safe, the bad guy got stopped, and the child is not hurt. Stop overthinking and celebrate this successful mission." Agent Graves continues to convince me that everything is alright, but it's not.
"Don't mean to be rude Agent Graves, but can we please have some alone time? Investigate the room real quick for clues that we may have missed." Agent Seni calms the situation before it ended in an ugly argument.
"Alright, I will investigate." Agent Graves says and does what he is told.
"What's eating you up?" Agent Seni asks me.
"Am I a good agent?" I seriously ask.
"What? What are you talking about? You are one of or if not the best agent on the planet." She tells me.
"Am I though? A great spy would not turn a situation into a disaster. I messed it all up!"
I feel a strange sensation that I keep hidden. A sensation that no one needs to see, that includes me. It not only makes me feel weak but makes me guilty. Messing with my mind and making me feel worthless.
Tears fall from my eyes, even though I don't want them to. I haven't felt sadness in a long time. Spies are trained to never show any emotions. Expressing your feelings is an easy way for enemies to know your weakness. Plus, who wants to be known as the spy who gets emotional? Not even the worst spies would want that.
Agent Seni sees clearly that I'm weeping and she comforts me with a side hug. I love Seni a lot. She is a beginner, but she loves to learn and always got my back. Out of everyone in our agency, she's my favorite person.
"Thank you, Seni," I tell her.
"You're welcome," She said.
Agent Graves comes back. Hopefully, he found crucial information about the child and what happened today.
"So did you find anything?" I curiously ask him. Wiping my tears away so that he won't notice me crying, but it's too obvious at this point. Even a blind man can see how weak I am right now.
"Nope!" He replies. I sigh because that was not the answer I wanted to hear. I was expecting him to have a long sheet of details to read out to everyone. But all I got was cobwebs rummaging in the wind.
"This day keeps getting better and better!" The sarcasm in my voice is strong.
When I got out of bed this morning, I was not expecting to be an emotional wreck during a mission. Seni does not think I'm weak, but I'm afraid everyone else will deem me fragile and unreliable. What else can make this day worse?
Out of nowhere, I see Agent Snipe, medical officials with a stretcher, and three other agents in our agency. The medical team put Julian on the gurney and take him away from the building. Agent Snipe and the three other agents check up on us.
Agent Clandestine talks to Agent Graves first. Clandestine is the most low-key member of our agency. He does not talk much unless he has to. Just like Agent Graves, he's the most dangerous out of everyone since he hides in the shadows and silently kills bad guys. He never shows any emotion, which every spy thrives for. Also, he is good friends with Agent Graves since they are both inpatient and unhinged.
His nationality is Hispanic, born in Spain but lived in New York throughout his life. So he knows how dangerous New York can be. Six feet and one inch tall, muscular, and loves to bring the most dangerous weapons to missions. He's been at our agency for eight years.
Agent Indigo goes to Agent Seni and sees if she's alright. She's British mixed in with Indian heritage. Not as bloodthirsty as Agent Clandestine and Agent Graves, but she knows how to kick butt. One time, she crippled a bad guy for trying to kill an innocent woman. She may look feminine and short as she is 5'2", but she knows how to fight. She's been in our agency for six years.
Agent Snipe and Agent Elite check up on me. Agent Elite is both an agent and a mental health specialist. He studied psychology and mental health for a decade before becoming an Agent. He makes sure all the agents our mentally strong. Also, he trains other agents to make sure their partners are doing well. Mental health is a must for him and enforces it in our agency.
He's a black man that lived and studied in Florida, but moved to New York to join our agency. He's been in our agency for three and a half years.
Agent Snipe is looking at me with concern. I don't like being looked at as a case study, it shows even more how weak I am. I know that I should not be mad at them since they did nothing wrong and are trying to help. But I just don't want to be treated differently because of my emotional breakdown.
"No, I'm not okay at all. This mission ruined everything for me." I tell them.
"I know this is not what you want to hear, but honestly, the mission was a success. The bad guy got stopped and the victims are safe." Agent Snipe tells me. He said the same thing as Agent Graves, though at least he realized that his words were not that helpful to me. I respect his self-awareness.
"I'm grateful that the victims are safe and sound, but I'm worried about the child. I just killed his father in front of him. Not only that, I badmouthed his deceased father. Now the kid left the building... Wait?!" I just realized something important.
"What is it?" Agent Snipe asks.
"If you all are here, where did the kid go?" I ask.
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