I changed for you

2

The alarm echoed through the whole house. It was eight in the morning. Chay had the liberty of waking up late as his classes started after ten. Still he had a lot to do. He was mostly alone these days. Porsche occasionally returned from the mafia family's house.
He did not like his brother's absence but he had to continue tolerating it anyway.

Rubbing his eyes, he got up from bed. He stretched his body before walking downstairs to the kitchen. After drinking a glass of water he carried on with his daily routine.

He had to cook too. Porsche had always ensured Chay ate a good healthy breakfast before leaving the house. It had become a habit now. He had to eat a good meal everyday. He was not a good cook but he managed with the skills he had.

He missed his brother the most while cooking. He ate in silence, playing with his food at times. It was a lonely scene. He wondered if his cheerful self was slowly fading away.
He hid his pain, of losing his parents, losing this house, being betrayed, being lied to, everything under his smile. It was just a mask protecting him. He had it on for so long it had become his reality. When thinking of Chay people would get the image of an innocent smiling boy. But deep down he was very broken. He wondered if it would be visible to other soon.

His family was the wound he couldn't heal. He stopped thinking about them completely to cope, only including Porsche in his list of family until yesterday. He did meet his mother. She was very much alive.
"What even is happening?" He said out loud, scoffing at his twisted luck.
Dropping the spoon with a loud clang on the plate he walked away from the table. He left for university to distract himself from this mess.
But it was not over. The things he was dealing with just kept piling up on his chest.

There he was. The man who caused him pain. Kim.
Why was he here? Was he following Chay? But he never attended university before. What changed?
Chay's mind clouded with questions. He did not want any answer. This can not be happening.
Kin walked towards him. Chay froze. He could not process this. He felt times top as the taller man approached him.

"Porchay. We need to talk." Kim's words did not register in Chay's mind. He was barely able to listen. This wasn't like the Kim he knew. He was stunned. Was his cold robot like ex boyfriend really trying to communicate? Was this really him?
"Porchay?" Kim continued after getting no response.
"Can we please talk? I don't have time." Kim looked visibly annoyed now. There was a hint of embarrassment too but Chay didn't notice it. The taller man clenched his jaw becoming angry.

There he was. The angry, rude and blunt Kim. The one everyone, including Chay, recognised. But Chay was not fazed. A hot intense rage rose inside him. He would not take this anymore.
"P'Kim, leave me alone. I don't want to see your face ever again." he glared.

Kim was shaken. This was new to him. He'd never seen this side. His eyes widened as Chay walked right past him. He felt small as if the air was pushing him into the ground.
What had he done?
Confused and frustrated he left the campus. He rushed back home, to the main family house. He was fuming.
But who was he angry at? Chay? That was not possible. He couldn't imagine being angry at his sweet Chay. Why was this rage inside him then? Was he angry at himself? For how he failed to keep Chay beside him? How he lied and used the one he loved? How he couldn't tell Chay how much he meant to him? The answer to all these questions was yes. He messed up and now he's here, ready to change but not ready to be accepted.

This was Khun's idea.
"Go talk to him. Apologise, you dumb bitch!" Khun had told Kim yesterday.
After the minor family conflict, Kim confided in Khun. He was the one who raised him after all. The heartbreak after he understood his own feelings was too much for Kim to handle on his own. No matter how reserved he was, he had to seek help then. Khun gladly provided him a shoulder.

Kim was surprised too on how much Chay had changed him. It felt like someone reset his whole system and now he was allowed to let go emotions and actually feel things.
He stomped to Tankhun's room.
The older man was concentrating on the drama that flashed before him on the big screen. Arm and Pol sat beside him, bored out of their minds.
"He hates me. And it's your fault. I looked like a fucking fool." Kim yelled.
"Shut up! I'm watching something. And don't you dare yell. I'm your brother. I swear to god I get no respect in this household." Khun complained to Pol.

Kim unplugged the television.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE" Tankhun shrieked. "Why is this house full of fools?"
"Your advise did not work. It's ruined. Everything's ruined." Kim ignored Khun's whining.
"Chay didn't talk?"
Kim simply glared at Khun.
"You must have done something bad. I know Chay. He's the sweetest ever. Just go back and try again. And be nice. I mean anyone would've been scared of your scary face. Stop frowning for once. And talk politely."
"I did all that. You said this yesterday too. You know what? Your advice is useless."
"Hey! You came asking for help. You were crying like a big baby after he left. Not me."
"I wasn't crying." Kim flared his nostrils. He was turning red with anger.
But Tankhun never cared. He had handled Kim when he was young. He knew how to take care of this angry man.
"Give him some time. He has been through a lot already. Maybe it's best if you leave him alone."

Kim's expression changed immediately. His eyes glistened with tears. He became silent.
"Or you can let him know you want to help for real this time." Khun added to console his gloomy brother.

Kim started thinking hard. How could he tell Chay when the other was not ready to listen? He was ignoring him everywhere. What should he do?
Khun was getting annoyed by his brother obstructing his television screen. Kim was too deep in thought to notice Khun scowling at him.

"You may leave now." Khun finally shooed him away, rolling his eyes.