I changed for you

9

Porchay was so sleepy the next day. He swore he could pass out any minute in class. He regretted being late and not getting a good seat. The professor could clearly see him from here, sabotaging all his plans to sleep.
After what felt like ages the class ended. Chay slumped on the desk even though he had to go eat something. It was lunch time and everyone rushed out.
He stayed in the empty classroom, head on the desk, eyes closed. For five minutes he wanted to stay this way. Peacefully.

"Chay! What happened? Are you okay?" Kim shook him awake, even though he wasn't actually sleeping.
The young man was stunned for a second. It took him a while to realise that he was on speaking term with Kim again. And he felt relieved to see Kim had chosen to stay even after the bad date.

"Yeah don't worry, Phi. Just sleepy." He assured Kim getting up and packing his stuff.
"You scared me for a minute. I thought you fainted!"
"No. Nothing like that."
"So? Wanna have lunch?" Kim asked.
Chay thought for a second but then agreed. They both headed towards the cafeteria. Chay decided to not mention the awkward night they had and just pretend it never happened. He was slightly embarrassed of what he did but it would be better if he didn't bring it up even though he wanted to apologise.

After getting what they needed they sat down in one corner. Kim paid for the lunch even after Chay's protests.
"Let me take care of you for now. It's just lunch anyway. And you look really tired." He justified.
They ate and talked normally today. Kim would've cried tears of happiness. He was glad he took Tankhun's advice and did not overthink the date. Chay obviously had been confused but today he seemed like the old Chay. His sweet Chay. The most adorable person ever. He could spend hours listening to him speak.
"And then I was like, 'I love horror movies!' so he said he'll get some from his brother's collection. P'Vegas had Paranormal Activity too! That's one of my favourites. Someday I want to see his whole collection." Chay went on about his time with Macau.

Was Kim jealous of Macau? Only slightly. He was more delighted to finally see Chay loosen up enough to talk freely. It wasn't just curt replies, cold stares today. It was long stories, daily complaints and sparkling eyes. He loved every part of it. He had missed it.

"You were right, I do feel tired today. I just couldn't sleep all night." Chay complained.
"You can sleep right here. We still have time. Just put your head down." Kim suggested.
"You sure?"
"Yeah. I'll watch your stuff. Don't worry."

Chay nodded. He could trust P'Kim this much. He was glad to catch a little break. Being a student was exhausting.
It had been merely fifteen minutes when Chay's phone started ringing.
He groaned and picked it up without seeing whose call it was.
"Hello, this is Porchay speaking. How may I help?" He blurted out sleepily.
"You think I don't know that?" His brother laughed on call.
"Oh Phi! I was sleeping. What's up?" He straightened his back.
"Come to the main house tonight. Ma has been acting weird again. I think she'll like you around."
"What do you mean? What happened?"
"You know her memory is fragile. She's been saying nonsensical stuff all morning and when I went to check up on her she tried to push me away. I think she's forgetting us again."
Chay felt his heart sink to the bottom of his stomach.
He thought she had accepted him and Porsche. She talked sweetly the last time he was with her. Hadn't they become family? But he should've known more than anyone else family isn't something you create in a day.
You can destroy it in a day but never create it that easily. It must've hit his brother harder. He knew Porsche was calling him over for his own moral support rather than for his mother. He needed family.
"Alright Phi. I'll stay with you as long as you need." He ended the call but looked visibly shaken.

"Everything okay?" Kim asked.
"Hmm. It's just Ma. You know how she is."
Chay was back to his small replies. Kim thought better to not trouble the poor boy more by asking questions. He knew how much this affected Chay. To have something like that happen to him was unimaginable.

"Chay, let me know if you need me. I'm ready to help. Always." He tried to reassure him.
"Actually, P'Kim, will you be returning to the main family house tonight?"
"Yeah. I may have moved back in. My other apartment feels too lonely. Everything is lonely without you somehow." 
The last few words slipped out of his mouth on their own. He did not mean to say anything that'll trigger Chay. Cursing himself inside he added, "I mean, yeah I am going to the main house. Why?"
"Oh, can I go with you today? P'Porsche says he wants me there."

Kim was having whole celebration in his head. Chay was gonna stay at the main house! That meant he got to be close to Chay for some days. He was trying hard to suppress his smile. This was not the appropriate time. Funny how anything related to Chay made him act stupid.

"Yeah, of course. When do your classes get over?"
"I just have two left now. I'll call you."

Kim's classes were over before Chay's. But let's be honest. He didn't pay attention to anything after lunch. So he might as well have skipped classes altogether. He waited in the library for an hour before getting Chay's call.

"Hold tight." He instructed Chay as they sat on his bike.
"Since when do you have bikes?"
"Since you rode one with Macau." Kim mumbled. Chay couldn't hear that.
"What did you say?"
"I said I just liked this model so I bought it."

They reached the main house and retired into their own rooms. Chay got changed and searched for Porsche.

"Phi? How's she?" He asked as they walked towards his mother's room.
Porsche just shook his head in disappointed.

Chay soon understood why his brother wanted him there. His mother wss terrified of them. She hid behind her chair when they entered.

What child would be okay knowing their mother was scared of them? 

Of all feelings that a mother could have had for her child, love, anger, concern, everything; this one was the least expected yet the most painful one.

She was scared of her own children.