I changed for you

7

Kim could not wipe that smile off of his face. He had the most refreshing sleep after Porchay wished him a good night. That guy was magical to Kim. His words worked miraculously. After weeks of restlessness one simple "good night" from Chay had cured it all. Kim swore he would've worshipped him if it had been possible.

And that wasn't all. The kiss. The kiss lingered on his cheek like glitters that refuse to leave. They are really hard to remove just like the pleasant feeling that took over Kim's body. He was filled with warmth and thinking of Chay made him blush. He had butterflies, the excitement of meeting his love again made him buzz with happiness.

The house had never seen Kim this way. Kim himself had forgotten this lovesick boy existed somewhere deep inside him. He was a new person altogether and he was enjoying ever bit of it. Such expression of emotions was a liberty he never had. But now you could clearly see him experiencing stuff.

He was in such a hurry to reach university and the first thing he did after his arrival was to look for Chay. He greeted the boy from a afar because Chay was already entering his classroom. Soon Kim got busy with his own work. The wait to be with his love made every minute unbearably long.

He finally met Chay after all his classes were over. It felt like ages. But it was worth it.

"P'Kim, I'm really sorry. I got busy with classes." Chay explained
"It's alright. Don't worry. Instead tell me what you meant yesterday. Were you asking me out on a date?"
"Yes, I was. I haven't planned anything really, please don't mind. There's a firework show tonight. Do you want to go with me?"

Kim nodded with delight. He could not wait to spend time with Chay.
"Alright, I'll buy the tickets. See you later then." Chay left after confirming their date plans.

The show was late at night. Chay decided to go home, finish some of his university work and get ready after dinner. He texted Kim he won't be having dinner together. The other was not pleased with this plan.

"We decided to spend the night together, Chay. You can't cancel dinner." Kim texted.
"P'Kim, you can't fool me. We never discussed dinner." Chay's mood had been spoilt already somehow. He just didn't feel like going anymore.

His mood swings had become prominent these days. He got angry easily and was often rude. It wasn't something anyone would expect from him but Chay did it just to protect himself. He had had enough of people fooling him because he did not express his anger.

"Okay, I'm sorry. See a you after dinner then." Kim's text calmed him down. He didn't cancel the whole plan because of thing. But unfortunately, his thoughts reined freely in his mind.

He started thinking of Kim. The past they had, the break up, the events after it. While working on his university assignments he would get distracted by Kim in his head.

"Fuck Kim so much. I have days of work to do! I missed classes because of him and now I can't focus because of him. It's all his fault."
Chay's anger rose to the threshold. He continued cursing Kim while desperately trying to finish his assignments.

"Why did I decide to give him a chance? I'm already regretting it." were Chay's thoughts waiting for Kim to pick him up for the firework show.

Kim showed up dressed nicely with roses in his hands. Chay didn't bother showing any emotion. He took the roses, forced a smile and put them away.
This bothered Kim. Why was he not looking happy? What happened? Should he ask? Would it be rude? He just wanted to be there for Chay. He wanted to see his love happy. But at the same time he wanted to respect his space. He decided to remain silent.

"Lets go Phi." Chay said. There was no enthusiasm in his voice. Kim's smile faded. He felt like he was slapped on the face.
No. He didn't want to ruin Porchay's mood. He forced a subtle smile. He should be happy to see Chay. It wasn't wrong to smile, right?

They were silent the whole time. This was very awkward for both of them. When did it become this way? Their initially dates were usually music, food or naps together. Such simple things yet they held more love than this extravagant show of lights.

Chay wasn't even looking at the fireworks. He was staring at his hands. How they glowed a little as the sky illuminated. Kim wasn't interested in the fireworks either.

He was interested in Chay. The younger man, no matter how sulky or cold, was all he ever wanted. He watched as the petite figure before him focused on the small hands. The urge to hold, to caress, to kiss, to feel Chay's hands overpowered all of his senses. He reached out.

Chay didn't pull away. He let Kim touch his hand. Then hold it.
Warmth filled him. He felt lighter as if the gentle hold had taken away all his burden. He didn't hold Kim's hand back though, he let his hand go limp. He just wanted to be held.

Kim did exactly that. He held on.

They both silently stayed that way. It was as if the comfort, the closeness that they had initially was slowly returning.

But it couldn't last. Just like their love in the beginning, it couldn't last.

Chay pulled his hand away once the loud crackers stopped. The show was over. The moment was over.