Killing Loneliness (A Ville Valo Fanfiction)

Chapter 18: "Resurrection"

A few months passed, we celebrated Juhannus with Eicca, Alexandra, Jonne and the band near a lake. It turned out that Alexandra and Eicca had twins, two beautiful girls. They were three months old. Also, we announced our plans about our future together. Everyone looked at us laughing as if they knew it was going to happen. We felt really grateful at that moment.

We started to live together at my tower. It wasn't that far from her apartment and the tattoo shop, but I thought it would be more complicated and harder to live with another person under the same roof. As if I hadn't done it before.

It was almost the end of July, and because of our contract, we had to return to the U.S. to record the new album, which I wasn't fancying at all, to be honest with you. I just wanted some peace of mind, and I was scared that it could ruin my relationship and engagement with Nastya, even though we did a symbolic ceremony the two of us as if we were marrying each other.

The things between us were better than ever. We respected each other space, gave us time and it was healthy. My relationship with alcohol and drugs were better. I didn't consume any of the last one and I just drank every now and then, on special occasions, which made me feel great about myself and the progress I did. I also learnt a lot when it comes to Nastya. She taught me lots of ways to control my anxiety, my mood swings because of the absence of substances and I knew sides of myself that were pretty much interesting. I also taught her how to play guitar, not the cello because his brother was one of the best, but we composed lots of things that were amazing. It wasn't just the "honeymoon phase". We both enjoyed each other's company and learnt so much about new things, new places that it was incredibly amazing. I felt like a new person.

So I asked Nastya to come with me and we made a deal: people could get tattooed between sets and we played on stage. Not at the same time, of course, but it somehow kept us together and the guys were happy about the deal. They even got tattooed by her quite a few times.

One day I was in the dressing room writing and even drawing, I don't really remember that well what I was doing, but someone knocked at the door. I thought it was weird because Nastya had access, and if someone was going to visit me or Nastya, would tell us earlier, not by surprise. So, I just got up and opened the door. I just couldn't believe who was there in front of me. The guys were out drinking, so I was by myself. I actually was waiting for Nastya because she told me she had some news she had to tell me, and they were important.

Kat. What the hell was she doing here? Wasn't she in her studio miles away from here? What the hell was going on? I felt paralyzed, not knowing what to do. She was a friend, a good friend of mine, but the thing is that we had something when I left for the American tour, and I didn't have any contact with Nastya. Or at least I that's what she said.

"Kat?" I gasped and she bright smiled hugging me. She even tried to kiss me, but I stepped back.

"It seems you're not that happy to see me." Kat replied in a moody way. I just couldn't react.

"No, I mean... What are you doing here? It's been quite a long time since... Since we saw each other." I just replied. I felt anxious, way too much.

"Well, I just knew you all were here, and I wanted to see you. I have things to tell you that we need to discuss." She said and sat down the couch. I nodded confused and sat on the opposite couch, in front of her.

"What is it about, Kat?" I asked restless.

"I'm pregnant, Ville." She bright smiled but I just froze. It just couldn't be. We just kissed, we didn't do anything else. "And it is your baby."

"Wait, what?" I asked one more time confused. That's when Nastya opened the door. She heard everything. Fucking hell, Kat. What have you done? "Nastya, wait!"