Killing Loneliness (A Ville Valo Fanfiction)

Chapter 14: "Under The Rose"

''Whatever you need, give me a call.'' Jonne said and I nodded before leaving my car seat.

'Closed.' Said the placard on the wall of the tattoo shop. I sighed and Jonne nodded his head as sign of approving. Jonne waited inside the car as I took a deep sigh before opening the door. Then, after five minutes, I decided to open that door even if the placard said it was closed.

''I'm sorry but the shop it's closed now!'' I heard Nastya say. I could feel her coming downstairs to the main room.

''I know, I've read the placard.'' I said. The footsteps had stopped their movements.

''Ville?'' Nastya asked. Her voice showed fear, it was a shaky voice.

''How long, Nastya.'' I replied looking deeply at her.

''What are you doing here.'' She mumbled turning back and searching for some papers.

''Same as you.'' I chuckled. ''I told you I'd come back home after a couple months.''

''I know.'' She shrugged. ''But what I know best is you and I didn't talk anymore.''

''Things are the way they are.'' I replied.

''Sure.'' She chuckled and sat down. ''Ville, what's the matter, what are you doing here anyway.'' She asked again.

''I can't forget you and first of all, you're my friend.'' I said.

''So,'' She paused and chuckled. ''You come here like nothing happened, telling that you can't forget me and then you, probably, expect that everything will be okay as always.''

''You are the one who said it.'' I groaned.

''If you couldn't forget me, then why did you meet that bunch of girls the past few months?'' She asked and got closer to me.

''Nastya, that's not what you're thinking.'' I said looking away this time.

''Valo, I'm not idiot, thank you.'' She whispered. ''I've been living with you a long time and I know you take home every girl you like or who's not 'common' in here.''

''But you know what? We're not dating, and,'' I paused. ''Should I remember you why are you dating Kimi again?''

''Should I remember you Thrud? Should I remember you all the times I had to leave home because you were fucking around with another girl when you knew how I felt for you? Should I Ville?'' She shouted.

''You said you wouldn't date Kimi again because it would hurt you.'' I whispered and lit a cigarette.

''I didn't promise anything. Not to you.'' She replied. ''I didn't because I wasn't going to be the stupid one waiting for you when you...''

''But you know what happened last time.'' I said.

''He has changed.'' She shrugged and sat down beside me. ''Even if it doesn't seem like that.''

''Stop fooling yourself, Nastya.'' I rolled my eyes. ''You know what's going to happen if he knows I'm here, just talking with you for awhile?''

''Shut up.'' She groaned.

''No, I won't.'' I said angrily. ''He's going to return, grab your hand like you're a piece of shit and then, he will hit you when you're home alone until you're bleeding on the floor. That's what's going to happen.''

''You have no fucking idea of-'' She shouted.

''Of what? The last time we had to hide you because he was out of control and you had bruises all over your body.'' I paused. ''Have you forgotten that fast?''

''Ville, enough!'' She yelled. ''If you are here because Jonne told you to, you better go like you always do.''

''Like I always do?'' I repeated, standing up. ''I'm here because I care about you and it is my choice, not because anyone has made me.'' I sighed, shaking my head. ''Your words are pure poison, you should take a look of that.''

''Out.'' She mumbled with her eyes looking away.

''Are you happy with your life?'' I asked.

''Get out of here now, please.''

''This is... Whatever.'' I shook my head, opening the door and leaving her behind me. I lit a cigarette as I reached Jonne's car. He was waiting impatiently, biting his nails.

''She hasn't let you speak.'' Jonne whispered and I nodded, looking through the window while the radio played some popular music from the 70's. Then, he turned it off.

''She hasn't let me, she won't and she will die.'' I mumbled to myself. I felt Jonne's eyes staring at me.

''What have you seen?'' He questioned.

''More bruises.'' I replied, closing my eyes as I rubbed my forehead.

Both of us didn't know what to do. How to react. The only thing I could do was wait, but time was running out. If I decided to wait, he would kill her for sure. If I didn't, she would hate me forever, and that would be a farewell.

Nor I had a plan. No one did and the last option was telling Eicca about it. He would kill me for sure. I knew it, we all did. But he was right. They could only blame me.

''This is all my fault.'' I spoke. ''My method to forget her was meeting other people. And it did hurt her until the point she doesn't talk to me anymore.''

''Go inside right now, and I'm not asking, I'm fucking telling you.'' Jonne replied. When I left, he went back to work, he had stuff to finish.

And so I did. Once again, I did the same, but taking a deep breath while watched her rest her chin over the palm of her hand, looking at the nothingness. She had been crying the twenty minutes I spent in the car. And she was tired, her eyes shouted out loud how much she needed peace, to be in peace with herself for once.

And she wanted to get over Kimi, but she felt alone like they told me. But that's the hardest part, and nor she wanted to face the truth when she could live in a world of fantasy forever. But forever isn't for everyone. No one can pay that price.

''I know I shouldn't be here, I do know.'' I whispered closing the door. She was looking at me with puffy eyes. ''But I miss you, I've been a dickhead and I wouldn't forgive myself if...''

''If what?'' A male voice said.