Killing Loneliness (A Ville Valo Fanfiction)

Chapter 16: "Ode To Solitude"

''Say something.'' I asked, sleepy because of the pills. I grabbed her hand while she stared at the ceiling quietly. ''Nastya, please.''

''Ville, you're drugged. Maybe we should talk about this another day.''

''I did it just to...''

''To protect me because you knew I'd run away.'' She said and lay herself down in bed. ''I'm going to sleep with you tonight just in case you need something.''

''I'm sorry.'' I whispered, resting my head over the pillow. ''I want to talk about something with you tomorrow.''

''That will be tomorrow, now you need some rest.'' She replied closing her eyes when I caressed her cheek with my fingertips. ''I will not kiss you.''

''Okay time to sleep.'' I joked and she laughed softly, giving me a kiss.

Suddenly we fell asleep. She held my hand all of the night until I woke up in my screaming at eight in the morning, mainly because of the pain I had on my torso. It was murdering me, and also bleeding out.

I tried my best to keep my mouth shut, but the blood puddle was down there next to me. So I squeezed her forearm twice, I needed her help.

''Ville wha-Crap.'' She panicked and got up quickly to carry me to the bathroom. ''Okay, I need you to talk to me while I fix this.''

''Can I smoke?'' I asked complaining, squeezing a towel with my hand.

''You can.'' She whispered, rubbing her forehead while lifting up my shirt.

''Ruska if I-'' I began to say as I lit the cigarette.

''You're not going to die. It is just the stitching.'' She replied calmly, taking a big breath. ''Okay, one of them moved a bit, nothing serious.''

''Lucky me, you know how to fix this.'' I sighed, shutting my eyes.

''You scare the shit out of me, Valo.'' Nastya mumbled closing the kit aid when I was complaining even more. She had bloody hands and also shaking. ''Come on, let's get you something for breakfast first.''

''I should have a shower first.'' I told her. She nodded and rubbed her forehead with her wrist.

''Can you do it alone or you need my help?'' She asked again.

''Well, it hurts but I guess I can manage it.'' I said awkwardly.

''If you need me, I'm going to take off the sheets, so raise your voice.'' She sighed and left.

I did my best to finally get that shower and to get rid off all the amount of blood I had all over my body.

I saw her on the kitchen, having a smoke on the window. Her elbows were resting on the counter, hidden by a coat. She used to do that when she cried.

''You okay?'' I asked, sitting down a chair after preparing a couple cups.

''I guess so.'' She muttered, closing the window quickly, turning around to face me.

''Nastya...'' I sighed and got up back again, opening my arms to embrace her.

''I got scared because of the blood.'' She admitted with shaky voice. ''I mean, it brought me back some memories I want to forget.''

''Hush, that chapter is over now.'' I whispered and kissed her head. ''I'm here to hold you back when you're not able to.''

''Everything happened because of my fault.'' Nastya grieved. ''I should've left you alone so you wouldn't be hurt. Nor I should be here.''