Locked in the memory

Chapter 32: I believe in US

Hayat POV:

I was married? What is going on? I got so involved in this revenge story that I married Murat. "But didn't you want that?" my sub conscious chided. I do. I do want to marry him someday. One day. But not today. What have I done? I am married for barely an hour and I feel suffocated already. I do love him but I don't want this marriage. I was so lost in my train of thoughts that I didn't realise we had already reached home.

Murat POV:

"Hey, are you alright?" I asked when we reached home. She nodded giving a small smile. Something definitely was wrong. "Hayat?" I asked her gently holding her by her shoulders. She refused to look at me. I gently placed my finger under her chin and turned her face to me. Her eyes were filled with tears. They could over flow any moment. "Hayat. Hey. Talk to me please. What's wrong?" I asked. She just kept staring at me. Her eyes reflected so many emotions. As if she was in turmoil. "Are you hurting?" I asked again. This broke the dam. Her all supressed tears began flowing down her cheeks. " I don't know Murat." she said, breaking down and falling to the floor. "Whatever it is, I'm here okay? I am ready to listen." I assured her and helped her sit on the sofa. "I am confused. I feel helpless. I feel suffocated." she stated. "About what?" I asked her. I had no idea where this was coming from. "About this marriage." she said looking in my eyes. Not going to lie, that did break me a little. But I had to know the entirety of this matter. If she didn't want to marry me, she could have said no. But she didn't. I stayed calm for her to continue and explain the entire issue. "It's not that I don't love you. I do. I do want to get married to you some day. One day. But that day was not today. Sometimes I feel I got so dragged in this little revenge story that I am stuck here now. I don't want to stay here. I want to go back to home. My home. I want to go back to the life I lived in Canada. I know I was the one who suggested to lie so that Deriya doesn't escape through loopholes. I wanted to show her, her place. I know I could have said no to you when you proposed or even at the registrar's office. But I didn't. Because I do want to spend my life with you. But now that we are married. I feel uneasy. I feel trapped. This was not how I wanted my life to turn out to be. I wanted a big, happy marriage with all my friends and family. I know I know you promised me that but I just can't help but feel trapped." she sighed. I got up and fetched her a glass of warm water. After she gulped down the entire glass in one go I said, "Hayat. Relax. I know where this is coming from. And I am assuring you it's okay. You can leave after the things here are taken care of. In fact, you can leave as soon as Ipek and Kerem are married. I brought you here for their wedding. And after they are married you can return to your earlier life in Canada." saying those words were extremely difficult for me. But I had to do it. I wanted her to be happy. Even if it meant her being away from me. 

"What about you?" she asked, her doe like eyes staring at me. "You tell me. What do you want me to do? Do you want me to stay? Do you want me to go?" I asked pushing the ball in her court. "Murat, I am sorry. I am extremely sorry about this but I cannot stay here in Turkey. I cannot live here. I want to go back to Canada." she said. "Then you won't. No one is forcing you to stay here against your own wishes, Hayat" I assured her. "What are you going to do after Doruk and Deriya are punished for their deeds? I mean the company is still under Doruk's name." she enquired. "I don't plan to return to Sarte. In fact I am in middle of talks with Kerem. I want to start my own brand. And if Kerem wants, he can work for me there." I answered honestly. "How about you come with me to Canada?" she said. I remained silent which made her explain her statement. "And start your brand there? It will be difficult. But I can be one of your investor." she said "So, you want me to stay in your life?" I asked unsure of where this whole conversation was heading to. "Of course yes. I want you to stay in my life. But not as a husband." Those words crumbled and shattered whatever heart was left within me. But I tried hard not to show those emotions on my face. " I want to get to know you again. There's a huge difference between the old us and the new us. I want to get to know you again from start. I want you to get to know me. I want to go on dates with you. I want to date you. And then when the time finally feels right, I want you to ask me to marry you. I want you to ask for my hand from my dad. I then want to have my dream wedding with you." Her eyes sparkled with excitement when she told us the future plans she had for us. "Okay. But what about this marriage certificate?" I asked. "I'll take care of that" she said. "Well sounds like a deal. A wonderful deal Ms. Hayat Tapeli" I said forwarding my hand for a hand shake. "It is. Oh but tomorrow, you are my husband. As in till the time I am done dealing with Deriya and Doruk, we will behave like a happily married couple. Agreed?" She said shaking the hand. "Agreed" I said and then wished her goodnight and went our ways to retire for the day. Obviously in different rooms. Tomorrow was Ipek and Kerem's wedding. And we had to reach early to help them.