Falling for The Freak (Eddie Munson)

Okay? Okay.

"Are you sure you're ready for this, darling?" 

"I have to be."

"We can take a break before we do this."

"No. We're running out of time. We have to finish." 

Eddie sighed from beside me before nodding and twisting the doorknob. I sucked in a breath of air and held it in my lungs as I looked around Brandon's room. It looks the same from when I was last in here - when Brandon was still alive. 

"Maybe this isn't such a good idea." Eddie tried to close the door, but I stopped him. "(Y/N), seriously, I can do this on my own. I don't think this is healthy." I knew how serious he was when he called me by my name, making my eyes snap up to his face. 

"I'm going to be fine." I told him in a tone of voice I didn't even recognize. Was I mad? Sad? Was it flat with no emotion? I couldn't even tell and neither could Eddie. It was as if my brain had prepared me for this moment since I had gotten that letter. It was protecting me by shutting everything off and leaving me with an empty mind. 

"If you feel overwhelmed at all, then we're stopping. Okay?" Eddie looked at me with those sad, doe eyes as I nodded. 

"Okay." 

-----------------------

I could feel my lip starting to bleed from how much I was biting and tugging at it. Even though my emotions were turned off, there was this small amount of grief that lingered awake inside my mind. To make sure the tears didn't come out, I would bite my lip, play with my hands, hum, anything to distract myself. I made sure to always have my back facing Eddie so that he couldn't tell that I was struggling as we packed Brandon's room. I didn't need him getting worried from the two tears I couldn't hold back or that fact that I wanted to curl up inside of the sheets and cry myself to sleep. It wasn't just packing Brandon's room that made me sad, but the million different thoughts that ran through my mind. 

Since we couldn't find a home yet, Juliet and I had to separate. Thankfully, she was going to be staying at Max's while I stayed at Eddie's, meaning we weren't that far apart, but it was going to be the first time we will be truly separated like that. We won't be living with each other. I wasn't thinking that day would come until she graduated high school. 

Thinking about high school also stressed me out. I may have a job, but it's not enough. I would have to work two jobs or get a full time "grown up" job to afford my own house or apartment. A part of me is thinking of getting my GED or graduating early, but I know Eddie was really looking forward to graduating together and I wanted to finish my high school career with all of my friends. I want to live out my childhood as much as I can while I have the time, but my parents keep throwing obstacles in my way, making it harder to feel normal.  

"I'll be back." Eddie mumbled from behind me. I listened to him walk out of the room and sighed. I shouldn't act this way around him. I was closing him out again and I could tell he was hurting from it. All he wanted was the best for me and I wanted that, too. I wanted the best for both of us. 

As I took the stuff from Brandon's desk and slipped it into the cardboard box, I noticed the red leather diary that I gave him for Christmas three years ago. I grabbed it and sat on the bed as my hands ran over the leather multiple times. Taking a deep breath in, I opened it up and instantly started to smile at the many drawings hidden inside. Flipping through the pages, I watched his drawings progress. They were amazing. 

My smile instantly frowned as the drawings became darker. It was a quick change of mood going from the cute, random drawings of objects to now dark shadowed figures. My eyebrows furrowed as I turned the page and saw his face. It was Vecna.