i can see it all so vividly
a tenebrous reality
you put your arms around me, lock
around my waist
pull me close, against your body
heat, and your hand would slip
back into old habits
my heart, this traitorous thing
that i should've torn out ages ago,
would beat against all my rationality,
pushing against the current, i push
into you; we fit so perfectly,
melt back together, mold to all your
hard planes and edges, your fingers
that set all my nerve endings alight,
master of illusions, a smoldering smelting
i'm fallen apart, stitched together with delusion and wishes
made on salt-soaked eyelashes
i'm falling back into you and our patterns,
hands coming around to hold on
to your face, neck; i'm on my tippy toes
craning to look up
(i'm always looking up at you)
like you're everything come true
wishes and prophecies and dreams and fairy dust
and maybe this can't last
or we could be everlasting
like fake flowers
scattered all over the stars, or
delicate glass sculptures, perfect in untouched quality,
but one scream and we'd shatter
to fragments of forever
it's been forever
since ive had your hands on me
and your eyes taking me in,
drinking their fill like a desert scape
and you, oh pitiful thirster, mercy, mercy,
grant me this oasis
of your rending touch
take away this pain that i thought so neverending
like only you can
only you
aren't here
and i'm cold all over
bone-deep, like a weary ache
wallowing, i'm a hurricane
of unrequited memories, loves lost
to an over-eager eclipse
shadowing my heart, so fucking lonely
i'm alive, i'm breathing through cracked ribs,
i'm euphoric in despair,
at once cursing your stars and
daring you to come back
