Xiaolumi- A Cursed Yaksha

Chapter 4:The funeral

  The next day was a sad day for the citizens of Liyue. All shops were closed by midday, everyone seemed to be at the funeral.The Liyue Qixing ordered that this day will be made into a new holiday to commemorate the death of Rex Lapis.Everyone seemed to be in a bad mood, and was wearing black for most of the day.Rex Lapis's funeral was like a reminder to everyone, who had spent the last two days trying to act normal in their various occupations, that he was dead.It seemed like people were bottling up their grief for him for the past two days. Now, that grief was flowing out of that metaphorical bottle at a restless rate. People were breaking up and crying all over the streets.It got annoying after awhile but I let them grieve.They did lose their God, after all.

  It was depressing to know that the next day was the Lantern Rite Festival, which was when the people of Liyue pray that their fallen heroes may be guided home. That every single wish, big or small, is worth seeing to fruition. That every citizen of Liyue will reunite with those they long for on the dreamlike night of The Lantern Rite. I wonder what everyone will wish for, after such a sad period for the people of Liyue. Maybe the Lantern Rite Festival will give them hope that Liyue can rule itself without its god. And maybe,The Lantern Rite Festival can help bring closure to the  people of Liyue.At least I knew what to wish for...

  "Lumine!"Paimon cried, breaking me out of my trance, "If you continue falling into trances and stop walking mid-trance we will never get to the funeral in time!"

  I apologised to Paimon and decided to put the thoughts in my memory.So that I could think about them some other day.I felt an outcast today.While everyone was grieving for Rex Lapis, I felt guilty.If only I had paid more attention to my surroundings, I could have saved Rex Lapis. I could have stopped all these people from feeling this pain...this sadness.If only...I was not so weak.I could have saved Rex Lapis,I could have saved my brother,I could have...tried saving those people in Kheanri'ah.However, I was too scared, to cowardly to act. Maybe that is why I admire Xiao. He saves people, without a moment's hesitation, but me? I have stood at the sidelines of every world I have been to, watching, but not acting.I watched people suffer but I did nothing to help them.Now, I tell myself that I have changed and I am not selfish and self-centred but am I really? Am I feeling guilty at not being able to prevent Rex Lapis's death BECAUSE I could not ask him about the whereabouts of my brother? Am I really kind like everyone says I am? Even commissions...I help people and earn money from them.Everything I have done benefits me.Helping the people of Mondsdaht?So I could become an honorary Knight of Favonius to gather more intel on my brother. Commissions? So I could earn money to have an easier time in finding my brother.Everything I have done is self-centred, just so I can find my brother so I could be happy.

  Before I knew it, tears were flowing down my cheeks.The world became a blurry mass of colours.Am I a good person like everyone says I am? Am I the perfect, beautiful Angel everyone says I am? If that is so...then I do not deserve to be called an angel.I am far from perfect.I am so broken and lost and depressed.I hide everything behind my kind smile.All I ever wanted was to find a dimension for my brother and me to call home.I never wanted...this.

  "Eh?!Why are you crying Lumine?Did Paimon do something to upset you or- "Paimon muttered, shocked to see that I was crying.

  "Hey."

  A finger with rough skin wiped away my tears.It felt so comforting, and reminded me of Aether.I looked up and saw that it was Xiao.My face darkens.I miss Aether.God I miss him so badly.I miss his hand that ruffled my hair, his voice which always spoke kind words to me, his scent that smelled of the flowers from the heavenly abode we were at when we started to exist.I could not speak, my throat was sore.I just looked up at Xiao, who seemed worried about me.I hated that face he was making at that moment.I did not want him to worry.He has so much to worry about already.